When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
I have a friend who has been my closest confidant, spiritually and in every day life things. She has taught me so much about prayer, which I believe to have made an enormous difference in my life, she has taught me to look for the blessings in everything in life, even when they don't seem like a blessing... that everything is from God. I love her for how she has helped to change my life. I found out last night that she is leaving our church. I feel bad that she didn't tell me, her husband told my husband... who are also friends. And she is very old fashioned and obedient to him, I think he probably asked her not to tell anyone until he was ready. But now I don't know how to talk to her. I am not mad at her. I am very sad she is leaving our church, but I can't imagine how those feelings would make me not want to be friends with her anymore, I have considered her my best friend for several years now. I don't know what to do with what I am feeling....I don't really know what I am feeling. Except that I have had 3 girls/women in my life that have gone. First my sister who died 20 years ago, a very dear friend of mine who was very special to me who moved to the other side of the country and now this friend.
So I thought of this poem, if that is what you call it. I pulled it out to wonder what God's plan was. Where did Linda fall for me in this poem. I wonder if it is possible for her to be the friend who is the reason, the season and the lifetime friend all rolled up in one. I know she is not gone, but I feel like she is. I just pray that I keep my heart open and realize how this works in God's grand plan... or if it will be one of those things that I won't get an answer for until I get to heaven.
4 comments:
Marlayna - Wow - I had so many feelings upon reading your post. I hope I can be an encouragement to you as you go through this. But I have to wonder - why do you feel that you are losing her just because she is leaving your church? This has struck a chord with me because I have a friend who recently felt led to leave our church - for no reason, other than her and her husband have been there for a long time, and they feel that God is leading them somewhere else. (even though they don't know where). Many people have been cold and distant towards them since they left. but I have to ask, Why? They have not left The Church. They have simply chosen to fellowship elsewhere. I still see her regularly, we still share our spiritual growth, we still encourage each other. I don't care where she goes, as long as she is fellowshipping, and as long as she is growing in the Lord. But others feel differently - she feels she has lost many people whom she felt were good friends, simply because they go to another church now. I know that part of your hurt is that your friend did not tell you herself. Put yourself in her shoes - maybe she expects that you'll feel...just like you feel. I encourage you to not let this end your friendship. I encourage you to call her and tell her that you heard she was leaving, but that she should know that you still love her now matter where she fellowships. If you just end the friendship because she has changed churches, consider that SHE might be sad that YOU were only her friend for a season. Please, please, please - do not let this friendship die for this reason. This seems to the be trend in churches these days - to shun the person who goes elsewhere -as if churches are in "competition". If we are followers of Jesus, we are all part of The Church. I dont mean to sound harsh, I know you are sad. I mean to encourage you that you are not losing your friend. God bless you
Liz I am glad you responded and I am sure that I did come across that way. I should have stated more clearly that I don't really want to end my friendship with her. She has made a huge impact on my life, and she has said the same about me.... though I can't see where I have been. I think I just need time. Maybe a day, maybe a week. I just don't know why I am feeling so distant right now. I would never end a friendship for that reason, that is what I meant when I said "but I can't imagine how those feelings would make me not want to be friends with her anymore"... I just don't know why I am pulling away from her. I am sure we will talk this week. But right now in this moment, I don't feel like I can pick up the phone to call her. Maybe cuz it is the weekend and I know her husband is home...
Anyway, thanks for sharing your story, it sounds so similar to mine.
I think that if a close friend of mine was making changes and didn't talk to me about herself, I would feel hurt and a bit betrayed. I'm sure that once you girls are able to talk about things you will feel much better. We just recently had a lot of people leave our church and I was bummed because a lot of them were so encouraging to me. Obviously I can still keep in touch with them, but it's harder because I usually only saw them when I was at Women's events, church, etc. Said a prayer that you and Linda could have some time to talk and work through your feelings and hers as well :o)
Such sweet words on friendship. By keeping your heart open God will lead and guide you with what to say and when to say it. Don't let distance come between a beautiful friendship. She is probably feeling the same angst as you...and not knowing how to deal as well.
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