It has been forever...

But I just have to "write it" out loud and don't want to jinx it by telling someone, but I have lost 14 lbs. I am so excited. I have never lost that much on a diet before, just my expanding.... really expanding waistline over the last 10 years. I don't think I have lost enough for other people to really notice yet, but my clothes definitely are looser. I have about 50 more lbs to go so this is just a drop in the bucket, but I am going to acknowledge and celebrate every 5 lbs.

John and I are doing it together it is working for us. He has lost 20 lbs and is starting to feel discouraged because he hasn't lost much this week. But what we keep telling ourselves is "this isn't supposed to be easy or fun or comfortable". It has helped us keep going. We have decided to try something else diet-wise next week, mainly because we have a youth pizza party for church on Tuesday night and camping next weekend and we just don't think it will be realistic to do what we have been doing for the last 6 weeks. So our goal of course is to continue losing weight, but mostly to just keep off what we have lost already.

Keep us in your prayers.

So many things to pray for today...

Luke had his phone stolen/lost at school last week. We have been praying and trying to figure out the lesson in all this, because we do feel God has a plan. I am just asking anyone and everyone to send a little prayer for the return of his brand new phone (literally he didn't have it for 24 hours).

Courtney has been having trouble with some girls at school for the last couple of months. Broken friendships and that sort of thing. She is still struggling and I don't know how else to help her. She continues to be in my prayers as she starts a new week.

Josh's teacher told me this morning that she is expecting her pink slip this week. She is still hopeful that there will be a place for her at another school in the district, but she is fairly new to this school district. My heart is so heavy for her. She is truly an outstanding teacher and I am so sad for her. I pray that she has the strength to make it through this week without too much anxiety and that she isn't informed that she won't have a job next year. Our school will be losing 7 teachers because of the budget cuts. Our school is #1 in test scores and attendance in our district and a big part of that is the teachers. Mrs. Murray is one of those outstanding teachers. I am so sad that she has to leave our school but more than that I just hope she doesn't lose her job.

John and I started a diet on Saturday. It is the craziest diet, but we are encouraged. It is called the idiot proof diet. We follow a diet plan for 11 days and then have 3 days off. You go through a list and choose 30 items that you like and it generates a diet plan for you. It is just the strangest combinations of food. One of our meals on Saturday was bacon, grapes and peanuts. Yesterday was all friut except for 1 deli sandwich. I believe we are expected to lose a pound a day and then gain a few back on our days off for an average of about 7 lbs weight loss every 2 weeks. We both feel so unhealthy. It isn't about not looking good, although that is the majority for me, but now we are feeling unhealthy. We need to do this.

I would appreciate any prayers you can throw our way in these areas.

I bet my dog out-does your dog...

Yesterday Luke ran in the house for a minute and left his cell phone and Ipod Touch outside in the backyard. Well guess who decided to sink his teeth in them? .... you guessed it our all too loveable (not so adored) chocolate lab Chevy. I wasn't home and it is a good thing. Later that evening John said Luke and I are going out. I was a little irritated that not more information was being provided, but didn't say anything. An hour and a half later they come home and I express my displeasure in their absence. John said... I didn't want to tell you, I wanted to handle it myself, but.... Chevy broke Luke's cell phone and Ipod. You could have seen the steam from my ears. I left the room without a word spoken and went in to solve the problem mode. I went straight to the computer to see if the screen could be repaired on the Ipod and in about 1 minute I found that we could get replacement glass for $89... I reported my findings and John couldn't believe what he was hearing. I solved the problem in 2 minutes. I simmered down a little, still not pleased that it will cost $89 to fix it but relieved that I doesn't need to be replaced.... he lives on this thing. His phone didn't fair so well, it will have to be replaced and will cost us $100.

I tell you, if Chevy wasn't the most adorable, loving, funny animal I have ever met he would be in pretty hot water. We should have named him Goofy the way he galavants around the backyard being silly.

My dad called yesterday and said his cocker jumped up on the counter and broke his princess house cake plate. I bet my dog out-does your dog dad.

Luke is 13!

It is so hard to believe I have a teenager..... 13 years old. He is such a good kid, he believes and lives for God, he is smart, good looking, funny... oh my goodness he is funny. And he is everything I ever dreamed he would be. I remember when I was pregnant with him, we decided not to find out what we were having and I just really wanted a boy. When I was a little girl I always wished I had an older brother to look out for me, I was the oldest, and so my first child had to be a boy. I wanted him to be big and strong and athletic and good looking and a good boy, someone who didn't tease and make fun of other people and was still respected. I wanted him to be well liked by everyone because he was kind and smart and strong. He is all of that and even more, he is so in tune with his spirituality. I didn't really think about that part of it when I was dreaming about who he would be as he grew up, but I couldn't be more pleased with this. He prays at school at lunch time, he will take an F on a test on the Islamic religion because it isn't right that he has to learn that in school but he can't learn about about God at school (we have had a talk about the power of knowledge and grades since then, by the way). He goes to church and participates as an acolyte, goes to confirmation every Sunday night, will spend a Saturday with 500 other teenagers learning about abstinence. He is a good boy and I couldn't be more proud of him....

Happy 13th Birthday Luke, you are my dream first child and so much more than I ever dreamt you would be.

More thoughts about Karon

Well, Valentine's came and went, but not without a thought about my sister. She died 21 years ago this Valentine's day and while I didn't go through the day reliving that horrible day, I thought of her.... between feverish naps and rib aching coughing fits. My dad came to visit this year. He retired about a month ago and it was nice having him here. Very relaxing and he didn't once say, I hope I don't get sick now... he didn't leave early like he might have a year ago. He went out to Costco with Josh to pick up a few things and brought me back a dozen roses. What a dad!

Anyway, memories of Karon are always with me, little slips of the tongue when I accidently call Courtney...Karon, shed tears when I think of all the things we missed together. But this year, I am feeling thankful that I had her in my life at all. She has been gone so long, she may as well not have been part of my life, but that is not how I am feeling. Better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all. Thank you God, for giving me my sister, even for just 16 years. Some day I will hold her in my arms and cry with her for all we missed and all we will still have together in heaven.

Gender orientation ???

This was another topic that was at this seminar that Luke and I went to last weekend. Not a topic that either of us wanted to go to, but during the time slot this session was offered nothing else was offered for the kids so my guess was... they must have something interesting to share. So I decided to go to the adult session on this topic.

I always felt that homosexuality could not be nature, God says it is not right, how could it possibly be something that is "wired". I have not done a lot of homework on this topic so I don't really have anything to offer, but I just have always felt this way. So the speaker on this topic was a counselor of gay men. Their practice is based on christianity and the men who come to him want to change. According to his practice, this is how it happens...

Attachment Trauma. Between the ages of 1-2 y/o a boy is not allowed to explore his boyness. Mom is overprotective and careful and does not allow him to be rambunctious. She may be overpowering and controlling.

Gender identity shame. Between the ages of 3-6 y/o a boy usually expresses shared interests with dad. Boys like excitement and fear and adventure and because he was held back from this during the ages of 1-2 he doesn't have these interests with dad. Dad lets it go and there is no male bonding. Also dad is usually critical and unkind to his son.

Defense Detachment. Between the ages of 6-12 boys and girls usually don't like to intermingle, boys (or girls) have cooties. They share very little in common. Boy finds he has more in common with girls and hangs out with girls.

Now this is all in a nutshell, I could be getting some wording off a little. But the above is considered pre gender type homosexuality. There is also post gender type where everything goes according to God's plan up until the age of 6ish where there is a trauma, such as abuse, which causes the feelings of homosexuality. These men are usually the more male personality of a relationship and the pre gender type are the femanine personality.

This speaker gave all kinds of statistics based on men who want to change to heterosexuality and I didn't write all of them down, but according to him it does work. It is a lot of work, maybe over the course of 5 years... but it does work.

I found all of this so interesting and kept thinking wow, mom's need to know this before they have kids. I say this very light heartedly. Anyway, I found it all very interesting and it seems like a good explanation to support homosexuality as being nurture and not nature.

Anyway, you can find Joseph Nicolosi on youtube. He wasn't our speaker, but he is the leader of this clinic, if you find this as something you might want to look in to more.

Kind of intense topic for kids, huh? EEK. It was for us adults too.

Pam Stenzel - have you heard her speak?

Wow you guys, wow-wow-wow. I really can't say much more. If you ever have the opportunity to hear her speak you need to take advantage of it. She speaks to teens and preteens about abstinence and I have to tell you... WOW. The kids were a little ... YIKES... over her because she speaks loud and frank and directly to the point. DO NOT HAVE SEX UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED. Abortion, adoption, raising the child, STDs, emotions, peer pressure... no ifs, ands or buts about it ... God did not ... no way, no how... God did not intend for sex to happen outside of marriage. You can look on youtube, there are a few of her lectures. But these were hard things for the kids to hear and exactly what parents want them to hear. She shared ideas about how to help your child achieve the goal of abstinence until marriage. She gave the example of saying...

Don't have sex, but if you do... use a condom.

Being like...

Don't steal, but if the peer pressure is just too much and you have to steal,
let me show you how to do it so you don't get caught.

Luke and I went to a Lutheran church-run abstinence program yesterday. This was our second year going at it was from 9:30 am - 9:30 pm, there were 500 people in attendance and 4-5 different speakers on different topics. I would like to share them in detail but it will be so much so I will do them a couple of days apart so you can read and not get lost by the length of my entry.

Look for topics on teen hormones, gender orientation, how to talk to your kids about sex and about our experience overall at this seminar. And if you have the opportunity to see Pam Stenzel she will change your world. God found the perfect person to get his message out. I really hope she is there next year because John needs to hear her. I tried to talk to him about it today and he can't buy in to it, it is so frustrating for me because we have our almost 13 y/o son sitting on the couch talking ot us, saying he wants to commit to being abstinent until marriage and his dad saying it is so not realistic. I am so angry with him right now. If this is a goal for Luke then as his parents we need to try our hardest to help him reach that goal. Pam suggested not letting your child date until he's 16 and then when he's 16, only group dates until high school graduation. Then he only has about 4-5 years (on average) before he gets married to work on this goal of virginity until marriage, instead of 8-10 years.

Did you know that there are 30 THIRTY.... THIRTY sexually transmitted diseases that our kids can catch? I can't remember the exact # of those that have no cure... NO CURE. A large number of women are sterile today because 15 years ago they were having sex and not getting their STDs treated and have left them sterile.

Our kids are kids, they are kids... they should not be having sex, they are too young to have to deal with the consequences of choosing between life and choice and then to have to choose to raise their baby or put it up for adoption. She told the boys that if they have sex, get a girl pregnant and she wants to have an abortion, he has NO SAY in it and if she wants to keep it, by california law he is responsible to pay child support, it is the law now that the father be listed on the birth certificate and his wages will be garnished and he has NO SAY.



Pam Stenzel will be in my prayers in her travels as she tries to reach kids all over the world... that Virginity is Cool! She is amazing. Pam is not a touchy-feely, lovey-dovey speaker. But she can certainly get her point across. I thank God for her and pray that many many people can hear her speak.