Walking in the Truth

It has been forever...

2009-04-17T09:57:00.000-07:00

But I just have to "write it" out loud and don't want to jinx it by telling someone, but I have lost 14 lbs. I am so excited. I have never lost that much on a diet before, just my expanding.... really expanding waistline over the last 10 years. I don't think I have lost enough for other people to really notice yet, but my clothes definitely are looser. I have about 50 more lbs to go so this is just a drop in the bucket, but I am going to acknowledge and celebrate every 5 lbs.

John and I are doing it together it is working for us. He has lost 20 lbs and is starting to feel discouraged because he hasn't lost much this week. But what we keep telling ourselves is "this isn't supposed to be easy or fun or comfortable". It has helped us keep going. We have decided to try something else diet-wise next week, mainly because we have a youth pizza party for church on Tuesday night and camping next weekend and we just don't think it will be realistic to do what we have been doing for the last 6 weeks. So our goal of course is to continue losing weight, but mostly to just keep off what we have lost already.

Keep us in your prayers.

So many things to pray for today...

2009-03-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

Luke had his phone stolen/lost at school last week. We have been praying and trying to figure out the lesson in all this, because we do feel God has a plan. I am just asking anyone and everyone to send a little prayer for the return of his brand new phone (literally he didn't have it for 24 hours).

Courtney has been having trouble with some girls at school for the last couple of months. Broken friendships and that sort of thing. She is still struggling and I don't know how else to help her. She continues to be in my prayers as she starts a new week.

Josh's teacher told me this morning that she is expecting her pink slip this week. She is still hopeful that there will be a place for her at another school in the district, but she is fairly new to this school district. My heart is so heavy for her. She is truly an outstanding teacher and I am so sad for her. I pray that she has the strength to make it through this week without too much anxiety and that she isn't informed that she won't have a job next year. Our school will be losing 7 teachers because of the budget cuts. Our school is #1 in test scores and attendance in our district and a big part of that is the teachers. Mrs. Murray is one of those outstanding teachers. I am so sad that she has to leave our school but more than that I just hope she doesn't lose her job.

John and I started a diet on Saturday. It is the craziest diet, but we are encouraged. It is called the idiot proof diet. We follow a diet plan for 11 days and then have 3 days off. You go through a list and choose 30 items that you like and it generates a diet plan for you. It is just the strangest combinations of food. One of our meals on Saturday was bacon, grapes and peanuts. Yesterday was all friut except for 1 deli sandwich. I believe we are expected to lose a pound a day and then gain a few back on our days off for an average of about 7 lbs weight loss every 2 weeks. We both feel so unhealthy. It isn't about not looking good, although that is the majority for me, but now we are feeling unhealthy. We need to do this.

I would appreciate any prayers you can throw our way in these areas.

I bet my dog out-does your dog...

2009-03-01T23:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Luke ran in the house for a minute and left his cell phone and Ipod Touch outside in the backyard. Well guess who decided to sink his teeth in them? .... you guessed it our all too loveable (not so adored) chocolate lab Chevy. I wasn't home and it is a good thing. Later that evening John said Luke and I are going out. I was a little irritated that not more information was being provided, but didn't say anything. An hour and a half later they come home and I express my displeasure in their absence. John said... I didn't want to tell you, I wanted to handle it myself, but.... Chevy broke Luke's cell phone and Ipod. You could have seen the steam from my ears. I left the room without a word spoken and went in to solve the problem mode. I went straight to the computer to see if the screen could be repaired on the Ipod and in about 1 minute I found that we could get replacement glass for $89... I reported my findings and John couldn't believe what he was hearing. I solved the problem in 2 minutes. I simmered down a little, still not pleased that it will cost $89 to fix it but relieved that I doesn't need to be replaced.... he lives on this thing. His phone didn't fair so well, it will have to be replaced and will cost us $100.

I tell you, if Chevy wasn't the most adorable, loving, funny animal I have ever met he would be in pretty hot water. We should have named him Goofy the way he galavants around the backyard being silly.

My dad called yesterday and said his cocker jumped up on the counter and broke his princess house cake plate. I bet my dog out-does your dog dad.

Luke is 13!

2009-02-16T12:24:00.000-08:00

It is so hard to believe I have a teenager..... 13 years old. He is such a good kid, he believes and lives for God, he is smart, good looking, funny... oh my goodness he is funny. And he is everything I ever dreamed he would be. I remember when I was pregnant with him, we decided not to find out what we were having and I just really wanted a boy. When I was a little girl I always wished I had an older brother to look out for me, I was the oldest, and so my first child had to be a boy. I wanted him to be big and strong and athletic and good looking and a good boy, someone who didn't tease and make fun of other people and was still respected. I wanted him to be well liked by everyone because he was kind and smart and strong. He is all of that and even more, he is so in tune with his spirituality. I didn't really think about that part of it when I was dreaming about who he would be as he grew up, but I couldn't be more pleased with this. He prays at school at lunch time, he will take an F on a test on the Islamic religion because it isn't right that he has to learn that in school but he can't learn about about God at school (we have had a talk about the power of knowledge and grades since then, by the way). He goes to church and participates as an acolyte, goes to confirmation every Sunday night, will spend a Saturday with 500 other teenagers learning about abstinence. He is a good boy and I couldn't be more proud of him....

Happy 13th Birthday Luke, you are my dream first child and so much more than I ever dreamt you would be.

More thoughts about Karon

2009-02-15T22:02:00.000-08:00

Well, Valentine's came and went, but not without a thought about my sister. She died 21 years ago this Valentine's day and while I didn't go through the day reliving that horrible day, I thought of her.... between feverish naps and rib aching coughing fits. My dad came to visit this year. He retired about a month ago and it was nice having him here. Very relaxing and he didn't once say, I hope I don't get sick now... he didn't leave early like he might have a year ago. He went out to Costco with Josh to pick up a few things and brought me back a dozen roses. What a dad!

Anyway, memories of Karon are always with me, little slips of the tongue when I accidently call Courtney...Karon, shed tears when I think of all the things we missed together. But this year, I am feeling thankful that I had her in my life at all. She has been gone so long, she may as well not have been part of my life, but that is not how I am feeling. Better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all. Thank you God, for giving me my sister, even for just 16 years. Some day I will hold her in my arms and cry with her for all we missed and all we will still have together in heaven.

Gender orientation ???

2009-02-11T23:12:00.000-08:00

This was another topic that was at this seminar that Luke and I went to last weekend. Not a topic that either of us wanted to go to, but during the time slot this session was offered nothing else was offered for the kids so my guess was... they must have something interesting to share. So I decided to go to the adult session on this topic.

I always felt that homosexuality could not be nature, God says it is not right, how could it possibly be something that is "wired". I have not done a lot of homework on this topic so I don't really have anything to offer, but I just have always felt this way. So the speaker on this topic was a counselor of gay men. Their practice is based on christianity and the men who come to him want to change. According to his practice, this is how it happens...

Attachment Trauma. Between the ages of 1-2 y/o a boy is not allowed to explore his boyness. Mom is overprotective and careful and does not allow him to be rambunctious. She may be overpowering and controlling.

Gender identity shame. Between the ages of 3-6 y/o a boy usually expresses shared interests with dad. Boys like excitement and fear and adventure and because he was held back from this during the ages of 1-2 he doesn't have these interests with dad. Dad lets it go and there is no male bonding. Also dad is usually critical and unkind to his son.

Defense Detachment. Between the ages of 6-12 boys and girls usually don't like to intermingle, boys (or girls) have cooties. They share very little in common. Boy finds he has more in common with girls and hangs out with girls.

Now this is all in a nutshell, I could be getting some wording off a little. But the above is considered pre gender type homosexuality. There is also post gender type where everything goes according to God's plan up until the age of 6ish where there is a trauma, such as abuse, which causes the feelings of homosexuality. These men are usually the more male personality of a relationship and the pre gender type are the femanine personality.

This speaker gave all kinds of statistics based on men who want to change to heterosexuality and I didn't write all of them down, but according to him it does work. It is a lot of work, maybe over the course of 5 years... but it does work.

I found all of this so interesting and kept thinking wow, mom's need to know this before they have kids. I say this very light heartedly. Anyway, I found it all very interesting and it seems like a good explanation to support homosexuality as being nurture and not nature.

Anyway, you can find Joseph Nicolosi on youtube. He wasn't our speaker, but he is the leader of this clinic, if you find this as something you might want to look in to more.

Kind of intense topic for kids, huh? EEK. It was for us adults too.

Pam Stenzel - have you heard her speak?

2009-02-08T22:46:00.000-08:00

Wow you guys, wow-wow-wow. I really can't say much more. If you ever have the opportunity to hear her speak you need to take advantage of it. She speaks to teens and preteens about abstinence and I have to tell you... WOW. The kids were a little ... YIKES... over her because she speaks loud and frank and directly to the point. DO NOT HAVE SEX UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED. Abortion, adoption, raising the child, STDs, emotions, peer pressure... no ifs, ands or buts about it ... God did not ... no way, no how... God did not intend for sex to happen outside of marriage. You can look on youtube, there are a few of her lectures. But these were hard things for the kids to hear and exactly what parents want them to hear. She shared ideas about how to help your child achieve the goal of abstinence until marriage. She gave the example of saying...

Don't have sex, but if you do... use a condom.

Being like...

Don't steal, but if the peer pressure is just too much and you have to steal,
let me show you how to do it so you don't get caught.

Luke and I went to a Lutheran church-run abstinence program yesterday. This was our second year going at it was from 9:30 am - 9:30 pm, there were 500 people in attendance and 4-5 different speakers on different topics. I would like to share them in detail but it will be so much so I will do them a couple of days apart so you can read and not get lost by the length of my entry.

Look for topics on teen hormones, gender orientation, how to talk to your kids about sex and about our experience overall at this seminar. And if you have the opportunity to see Pam Stenzel she will change your world. God found the perfect person to get his message out. I really hope she is there next year because John needs to hear her. I tried to talk to him about it today and he can't buy in to it, it is so frustrating for me because we have our almost 13 y/o son sitting on the couch talking ot us, saying he wants to commit to being abstinent until marriage and his dad saying it is so not realistic. I am so angry with him right now. If this is a goal for Luke then as his parents we need to try our hardest to help him reach that goal. Pam suggested not letting your child date until he's 16 and then when he's 16, only group dates until high school graduation. Then he only has about 4-5 years (on average) before he gets married to work on this goal of virginity until marriage, instead of 8-10 years.

Did you know that there are 30 THIRTY.... THIRTY sexually transmitted diseases that our kids can catch? I can't remember the exact # of those that have no cure... NO CURE. A large number of women are sterile today because 15 years ago they were having sex and not getting their STDs treated and have left them sterile.

Our kids are kids, they are kids... they should not be having sex, they are too young to have to deal with the consequences of choosing between life and choice and then to have to choose to raise their baby or put it up for adoption. She told the boys that if they have sex, get a girl pregnant and she wants to have an abortion, he has NO SAY in it and if she wants to keep it, by california law he is responsible to pay child support, it is the law now that the father be listed on the birth certificate and his wages will be garnished and he has NO SAY.

Pam Stenzel will be in my prayers in her travels as she tries to reach kids all over the world... that Virginity is Cool! She is amazing. Pam is not a touchy-feely, lovey-dovey speaker. But she can certainly get her point across. I thank God for her and pray that many many people can hear her speak.

I screwed up... ???

2009-02-05T21:18:00.001-08:00

I turned on the news the other morning to hear Obama say... "I screwed up" Honestly I am not too critical about what he made a mistake of, but I was shocked to hear those particular words come out of a President's mouth. No the admission of the mistake, but the words themselves. I really am so disappointed. I am still working on the judging thing so I am trying not to be judgmental, but I really feel that our president should be more ... presidential. That particular word is not allowed in our home, it is such an ugly word. It just has not set well with me all week. :(

John's birthday is tomorrow...

2009-02-03T22:17:00.001-08:00

and he asked for his mom to make him dinner. That hurt. I realize I am not the greatest cook and that it is his birthday and he should get what he wants. But... that hurt. Now we aren't really talking but not fighting either and it is his birthday tomorrow. How am I supposed to put it all away and help him have a nice birthday?

Everything is okay

2009-02-02T21:30:00.000-08:00

What a difference a day makes. I am not sure why I was so full of emotion the last 24 hours. The boys went to school and it was not near as bad as they feared. Luke always can hold his own, but I cried all day (off and on, whenever I thought about Josh). I even called my dad and cried on his shoulder, what a nice experience. I think I am liking his retirement. :) Josh was fast asleep before 9:00 tonight, I am so thankful for exhaustion. He had a great afternoon and evening, and was able to fall asleep so peacefully. When we got home from school I went up to him and gave him the biggest hug and said I am so glad you had a good day and he said, mom, your prayers worked. I have to admit, I wasn't sure they were going to be answered because I prayed so specifically for what I wanted and not just for God's will. But tonight I am so thankful that Josh recognized an answered prayer. I am a very thankful mom tonight.

I am completely drained

2009-02-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

Well today did not go so well. We had this plan for a super bowl party, nothing big, but for the kids it was...for 2 reasons. First, they each got to invite friends over to watch the game and second, our team was going to the super bowl. The Arizona Cardinals, who probably never should have made it past the first round of the play offs, according to sports announcers. We let them all (Courtney too) wear Arizona Cardinals jersey's to church, which we would normally never let them do. So it started out, Josh's best friend was 15 minutes late, when he showed up his dad said that the family was over celebrating his birthday could Josh go back with them and have cake and they will bring the boys back here by half time. Josh thought... okay that is fine. So, fast forward to the end. The Cardinals DIDN'T win and Josh didn't get home until after the game was over. He was completely crushed, cried.... literally cried for hours... that his team didn't win and that he didn't get to be at our super bowl party. AND according to him "the kids at school are brutal, they are all rootin for the Steelers". Both he and Luke were crushed and are completely dreading school tomorrow. Can I just let them stay home? Oh my goodness, my heart is completely broken for them, especially Josh. Luke is strong enough to handle the kids, but Josh is still pretty timid and I just want to protect him. I want to let him stay home, or I want to call his teacher and tell her to watch out for him. I prayed and begged God to help the other kids be... not so mean, I prayed that He help Josh be strong tomorrrow, something to help the day not be so bad. That tomorrow morning he wakes up and doesn't remember that "today was the worst day of his life" (those are his words). So he's been in bed an hour now and I am still crying for him.

Remembering Karon

2009-01-26T21:44:00.000-08:00

My sister would have been 37 today. We were less than 14 months apart and she was 11 months older than my brother and we did not have enough time with her. She died when I was 17 and she had just turned 16. I don't know why God took her so young, but I have given up wondering. I certainly don't think anything good has come from it, I haven't seen anything that might tell me she saved someone else or anything like that. But I am okay to wait until my day in Heaven to find out.

I still cry and feel her absence regularly, I have pictures of her around my house. My kids know her even though they were far from being born. They know she played soccer and was really good, was well liked by many different kids....jocks, curbies, stoners, nerds. They know her funeral was gigantic, with 100 +/- cars (according to the police officers) and around 300 people. They have visited her grave with my mom and I. They watched us polish her head stone and trim the grass around it and then asked if they could polish some head stones of people who looked like they didn't have any visitors anymore. They know there is a head stone near hers that reads "Just another crummy day", it made us laugh when we saw it on the day of her funeral. They know she overdosed on her ADD medication, they know she experimented with illegal drugs. They know she was loved by me more than I can ever express to them, they know I miss her terribly.

Happy 37th Birthday sis. I wish I could have you in my life, in my family's life, I wish you had a family I could be an auntie and a sister-in-law to. I would have been a good one, I swear I would have. I miss you Karon, I miss you so much.

Well maybe I spoke too soon...

2009-01-23T09:13:00.000-08:00

Now I know why I didn't vote for our President. After 3 days in office he has already reminded me why I didn't vote for him... The honeymoon, so to speak, is definitely over. First he orders the closure of Guantanamo Bay and now, according to USA Today, he is planning to reverse the band on federally supported abortions (more or less). This week has been a huge disappointment for me politically.

Finding myself surprised... in me.

2009-01-21T10:36:00.000-08:00

I have been completely drawn, almost glued to the TV since yesterday morning. I did not vote for our new president and have some real concerns. But the inaugeration was really great to watch, to see the country all come together in this show of support that we haven't had, to see the previous presidents and first ladies, their families, the outfits, the smiles. And I was even happy to see the human side of this man.

One of my concerns about this president is that the people who supported him seemed to see him as a savior... that he will solve all of our problems and won't make any mistakes. So in this, it makes me wonder if all of these people really believe he is perfect and if they do they must not understand that only God is perfect. I was so disappointed to see that Obama and his wife did not mouth the Lord's Prayer with Rick Warren in the opening prayer yesterday, it made me wonder if he will seek the path that God has for him and our Country. And it scared me to think that maybe he wouldn't.

Anyway, so back to him being human... he stumbled over his oath yesterday and it warmed my heart... not sour grapes warmed my heart, but made me see him in a different light. And this morning in a press conference he made his speech and then said something like, okay now what do I do? Do I sit? And Joe Biden asked, do I just stand here? And can I have the paper to read the oath? And then the president said he wanted to shake his senior staffs' hands and started to make his way down and then decided, no that isn't a good idea you come to me, it will be easier. It was just so... un-planned out, not rehearsed, not planned. It was so nice to see the smiles and laughter about the learning curve, the human-ness of him and I am finding him likeable. I still have my concerns about his agenda, but at least now I feel like I can stomach to look at him and listen to him and be hopeful in a better future for America. I am thankful for that. I am thankful that after the election I said to myself that I will trust God's plan for our future and maybe things will be better and if not, that I know God will be there for us all. I will watch President Obama hopefully, try not to be judgmental of him personally and pray for him and the decisions he has to make, that they will be in line with the plans God has for us all.

I need some help.

2009-01-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday in church there was a scripture reading on Sunday that sparked a conversation for John and I...

Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he
who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know
that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have
from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price;
therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. 1 cor
6:18-20

It got us to thinking, not so much about sexual immorality but how we do not take care of our bodies physically... with exercise and diet. It was just so amazing that we both got this same message from this scripture and were able to have a conversation about it. So we left the kids for Sunday School, came home and changed our clothes and went on a walk and had a nice talk. And this is where I need your help...

I can't find anything on the internet about it, but at some point in my studies I thought I read or talked with someone about.... God being first in our lives and then it should be our spouse and then our children and then "ourselves" falls in there somewhere too I think. Am I remembering that right? John reads in to that as it meaning we should love our spouse more than our children and I said no, that is not what that means, it means that we should make time for eachother because if we aren't together as one with God then our children will not be raised up right... I can't find that passage either. ARG! Anyway, John is growing, we both are, but if I am remembering this right, I need help with this conversation with him. I admire that our family means so much to him and that he values it so deeply and I would never want that to change, but I want our relationship to grow in Christ, I want us to radiate with God's love. Thanks fo any help you can give with this.

Feeling Thankful Tonight

2009-01-15T21:32:00.000-08:00

I am feeling particularly thankful for my family tonight. I am thankful that I married a good man who continues to grow into a wonderful father and husband every time I turn around. I am thankful that I have 3 kids who are amazing all in their own ways. I love my family dearly. I am also thankful that my children have a stable home with loving, caring, religious parents. I know John and I make mistakes and we learn from them, but I know we are good parents. I am so thankful that God entrusted these 3 wonders to us and that we are doing right by them. Thank you God!

Arizona Cardinals

2009-01-11T21:11:00.000-08:00

We are a huge football family we all love it... I mean LOVE IT! Well, except for Courtney who is trying but gets bored pretty easily with games and all our talk. Last weekend we were in Arizona for the new year and the guys went to the first round playoff game and had a fantastic time...

So then we watched the teams that were playing who would go against the Cardinals this last weekend and watched the team win that we felt the Cardinals had the best chance of winning against. And this weekend we watched the Cardinals beat that team too. Now our team is going to the NFC Championship next weekend and will be at home to play the game. How amazing is that?

A friend of mine told me once that our family is perfect together, we are all together because God knows our hearts and the love of football. Not that that is why or the only reason, but how great that we have this commonality going for us. Luke laughs at me and my comments sometimes, and John rolls his eyes, but we have so much fun. Josh and I are die-hard Cardinals fans and will always choose the Cardinals and what is best for their team over anything... I love that for our relationship. Last night we were watching the game (we had to tape it) and Josh couldn't stand not knowing who won, it was just too much for his 10 year old nerves. So he looked it up on the internet and kept the score to himself and sat on my lap and enjoyed the rest of the game.

I thank God everyday for my family and the things we love to do together.

Before or Now?

2009-01-08T21:42:00.000-08:00

Ugh, I don't know. I used to be such a quiet timid person. No one heard a peep out of me, quiet as a church mouse. Now I have absolutely no trouble speaking my mind, showing my frustration and making my opinion known. I was definitely not as spiritually mature as I am now so why does it seem like I was a more Christian woman back then, than I am now?

I went to a church meeting tonight on behalf of the youth action team and ... well... it got a little heated. Looking back on it I don't think I did anything that I am embarrassed about. But I do wish that I was known as the quiet sweet little Marlayna that I used to be. I hate being so emotional. Though I have to say I have been working on this for several years and I seem to be better at keeping a lid on that simmering temper of mine much better than say, 5 years ago. Whew!

John thinks God gave me this passion for a reason. That made me feel better, I guess. It might have made me feel better because I am always giving him advise based on spirituality and he never does.

I am listening to God

2009-01-08T10:06:00.000-08:00

I just love when you know you are hearing God...when it all feels so right.

I prayed that I would be able to find the words and when I found the words that I would have the strength to speak them and then when it was all done that I would find some peace in what I did. ::Deep Breath:: I quit being a Brownie leader last night. It's done and I really have no regrets. That is how I know that I am following the path that God laid out before me. I am making bigger margins in my life.

So I handed over the checkbook, the achievements book detailing everything about the girls, any supplies I had and said I would stay as a leader in paper only until the other lady got approved. I even suggested they find some place else to meet. We are meeting at my church and I have the keys and I just don't want to be stuck waiting around for everyone to leave so I can lock up. I am really done, I can feel it in my heart.

I did have a bit of a panic attack last night about it though. Before I told the other leaders about me quitting we were planning out the next 6 months schedule. We decided to take the girls on a camping trip with the rest of our unit which is very large, I bet there will be close to 100 girls camping. It is 2 nights and parents are not allowed. Only leaders and scouts. Um.... I realized later last night... I am not a leader anymore. I will have to send Courtney to these things and I can't go. The thought still doesn't sit well with me. A friend of mine talked me down a bit last night, she is a leader in Canada and made me feel better about not sending her at all. She is 6, too young to go 2 nights without me. Well Courtney would probably do great, mom... dad... not so great. Okay, starting to panic again. I need to remember that I do have so much peace about this decision and this panic is about Courtney camping, not me quitting.

Now I pray that when I tell Courtney she will be able to have the same peace. I should have talked to her about it before the meeting. ACK! Okay, did I just say that I had complete peace about this decision.

Some Progress

2009-01-06T21:36:00.000-08:00

Well things are coming along in my house. The Christmas decorations are pretty much all put away in the closet under my stairs. We are having a yard sale this weekend so I went through some of the boxes and picked out some things to get rid of. Everything seems to be somewhat organized so I can easily reach my Easter box in a couple of months. Right behind it is the Halloween boxes and then Thanksgiving. My Christmas boxes have an area all to themselves, I have way too much.

I have been thinking about some things to purge out of my life, along with the purging I am doing of our stuff. I have a girl scout leader meeting tomorrow night and I am planning to turn over the reigns. It will be hard, but I just can't do it anymore... nor do I want to, I never did want to, but I just can't say no. I will pray for the words and the strength to do what I need to do and the peace to actually be okay with handing over my book on all the girls which I have put so much pride in. The check book is in order and I am going to look for the supplies I have been storing here to hand over. Keep me in your prayers.

I am also considering giving up MITI (moms intouch international). It is a prayer group that I have been involved in for the last 2 1/2 years. It is the most wonderful group, i have learned so much and the only reason I don't want to give it up is because it is a set time that I pray with another mom for my children. But this other woman and I have lost eachother along our paths. We used to be so close, I credit her for helping me with my walk with God and learning how to pray. But her family quit our church recently, her husband is putting restrictions on her that is making it difficult for us to meet regularly anyway and honestly we feel a little betrayed. Not so much because they left the church but because her husband refuses to return my husband's calls and because things feel different between her and I. I will just work hard to make time for my prayers for the children on my own.

I read a devotional today from Purpose Driven Life and it is about creating margins in my life so I can be more open to God and His plans for my life. So these are two areas that I plan to give up. I think the next thing will be the newsletter for my son's cub scout pack. But I am going to hold off on that for now. I may try to give it up when the cub scout year ends in June.

I encourage all of you to try to have margins in your life. Here is the link if you would like to read it... http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/en-US/FreeTools/devotional/todaysDevo/Devotional.htm?a=2782&z=1

Clean up~clean up~ everyone .... HELP!!

2009-01-05T19:14:00.001-08:00

Well I am finally getting around to cleaning up the house. It has been hard to keep clean the last week and a half, first there is wrapping paper and then boxes and twisting things that hold the toy/item in the box and all the cardboard. And everyone has been home for the last week so it seems I can't keep the kitchen cleaned up to save my soul... I guess I will leave that to God.

But today, John is back to work and I asked Courtney to take all the ornaments off the tree, Josh and Luke to take the lights off and then Luke helped me box up the tree and get it back in the closet. Of course in order to do that I have to take almost everything out of the closet to get the tree in the back on the bottom. So the living room is mostly Christmas free, the pictures, lamps and DVR/DVD are back where they belong. But everything is still out of the closet. I can only do so much at a time. I hope to get everything put away by the end of the week.

I had such high hopes for my time off between Christmas and New Years... de holiday decorate my house, wash windows and screens, clean out the holiday storage closet. Nothing got done. I was so tired and had no motivation to do anything. I guess that is why this mess awaits me this week.

I am happy to report that I cleaned out my closet about 3 weeks ago and straightened my room and guess what? It is still clean. Wow what a feeling.

Seek the Lord Sunday - On Wednesday

2008-12-31T22:13:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful entry my friend Daquirie had on Saturday December 20th. Read her blog at http://www.calledblessed.com/

My husband said a beautiful prayer at breakfast on Christmas morning that was so thought-provoking for me... He said that Jesus was not born on December 24 on a cold night in a stable, layed in a manger for all of us, he came for each of us. It is hard to believe that something like changing the words can change so much. God did come for each of us individually because He loves us each individually. He was born human to die on the cross for our sins ... each of us, not just all of us.... but each of us individually.

Christmas is a celebration of our Father's birth and means more to me every day that I grow closer to Him.

Merry Christmas, Friends in Christ. May 2009 be filled with Christ's blessings overflowing in your life.

Am I the only parent in my house?

2008-12-14T23:08:00.000-08:00

I feel that way about 80% of the time. My mom tells me that that is the way a lot of wives feel. I don't know, I seem to know so many women who have wonderful husbands. I read my cousins blog and realize she has an amazing husband and how I just wish that my husband loved me the way hers does. We are in completely different places in life. She is a new mom of a 3 week old and I have been married for 17 years and a mom for almost 13. I have been so angry with him for a long time and tonight it occurred to me that I was mad at him because I have to deal with all the adult stuff, cleaning and cooking while he watches tv and tells the kids to do stuff when he could and should be helping too. I know we compliment eachother because he is a great disciplinarian. I do not discipline good at all. I really don't need to much, but John handles it when it is appropriate. He used to be really tough on the kids and I didn't agree with his parenting on most issues, but God seems to have worked us in to a happy medium. I am thankful for that.

Anyway, I have been angry with John and I think it is because money has been so tight and he doesn't help me with it at all. I carry all the burden. I try to tell him when things need to happen and he says, we need to go over the $$... but then we never do. Honestly I am glad for that because it upsets me to talk money with him. We have had to put a lot on the credit cards this year, usually we pay them off every year with our tax refund, but our tax refund won't pay off more than 50% of them this year and he has no idea. I think if I sat down and wrote down everything he would realize it. But he just doesn't handle it at all and so that seems to be my burden. I don't spend foolishly... well most of the time. I do not feel that I purchased anything that was completely out of line that he isn't aware of. But I know it is going to be a very difficult conversation.

I know better than to pray to God for a way to get us out of this much debt without John knowing because I feel that ultimately He does not want me to carry this burden on my own, he wants me to grow with John in this area... I just have a feeling it is going to be painful to go over this with John. Don't get me wrong, not painful in that he will get violent or anything, just painful for my heart.

Another area that I feel that I am resentful in is that he won't choose the kids over his stuff when I think he should. That isn't really fair either. But the situation for tomorrow night is this... we only have 1 vehicle right now and he has choir practice tomorrow night at 5:45, he promised Luke he could start wrestling tomorrow night at 6:00 and Courtney has gymnastics until 6:00. So John says that Luke will just have to miss wrestling. Poor kid has been promised for 3 weeks and it has been put off for 3 weeks and I just don't understand why he would say he could start this week and not keep that promise. So he can go do his thing... I will take all the kids with me to gymnastics, we will leave 10 minutes early and I will take Luke to wrestling. John thought that was a great solution. Of course he did, because I am doing it all. Then I pray about it and I realize that this is the kind of mom/parent that I want to be, bending over backwards for my kids, just because that isn't the kind of parent John wants to be, does that make me better? I don't know and I Don't think it matters... all that matters is that is what I want and I shouldn't expect that is the way John wants to be. He spends a lot of time with the boys, he teaches them good lessons, he expects them to participate at church and demands respect. He isn't a bad father.

I need to keep praying about this because it feels horrible to be angry all the time.

I'm telling you... God is Good and Faithful!

2008-12-08T21:26:00.000-08:00

I have given over all of my lost items to God. I will not stress or feel panic when I cannot find a missing item and it is my mission to teach this to my children. I have been looking for my favorite winter coat, which is like new because in Southern California how often do you need a winter coat? I think mine is about 3-4 years old. Also, as I blogged about earlier, I could not find Luke's stocking. Well I am happy to report that both lost items have been located. My coat is exactly where it should be and I must have missed it when I was looking for it last week. And Courtney came walking around the corner tonight holding Luke's stocking all innocent-like. I gave her a big kiss on the cheek and thanked God once again for being faithful in His love for me and my cherished lost items.

2008-12-08T08:18:00.001-08:00

I said something that really surprised me tonight. I told John that I hate my job. I didn't plan on saying it, I thought I actually liked it. For almost 13 years this job has allowed me to be at home with my kids, be around when they get home from school, be at their school when my schedule allowed. I have always said Medical Transcription is the road to take for SAHMs. I have been trying to adjust to my new work schedule for months, since the kids went back to school. Sometimes it takes me a month or 6 weeks, but it has been almost 4 months, I should be used to it by now. There have been some changes at work that are going to make it difficult for me to make what I was making so that has me down.

Before I had kids I never suspected I would be a SAHM, I always thought my kids would be in daycare and I would work, I like working. But the minute Luke was born that all changed. I wish I knew I would want to stay home before he was born so I/we could have prepared differently.

Now I am stuck in a job making very little money and needing every penny of it. I work 39 hours a week and still take care of my home the best I can, volunteer in the kids classes once a week, keep them busy in after school activities, help at church. I am just exhausted. I have been considering letting my position go at the church on the youth action team and I am not hearing anything from God that says, no don't. I am not making any rash decisions. But I am trying to simplify my life. I just need to pray about my life because I don't feel like God could possibly be happy seeing me the way I am right now... I certainly am not doing his good works this way, at least to my full potential. I know prayer is the key and that is where I will start.

Seek the Lord Sunday

2008-11-23T21:39:00.001-08:00

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done." Psalm 105:1

I don't get the time, actually I am going to rephrase this.... I actually have not taken the time to participate in this, so many blogs that I read have spoken to me through their writer's and I don't feel that I have anything to share. Tonight I actually came to my blog to write about something that happened today and decided to go visit a blog I read regularly, the author of Seek the Lord Sunday http://www.calledblessed.com/ to thank her for a breast-feeding bracelet she made for my cousin. That story will come after my first story. Anyway, I saw Daquiri's topic for STLS today and felt it so appropriate.

My son Josh is working on an achievement for his cub scouts, a Religious knot. About 5 other boys were working on this with him and I was in charge of ordering the medals and patch's, etc. There are two phases to this program and about 3 years ago when we did the first phase I had ordered these things for a bunch of boys and one boy's mother never paid me so I never gave him his medal, etc. I have run across these items many many times over the last 3 years and kept putting them one place or another knowing some day I would need them for the 2nd phase. Well now is the time when I need them and I spent some time last weekend looking through my office closet, quickly as I was sick and didn't have the energy to do more than that. Never found it. Went through every place in my office, over this last week, that I thought it could be. I could see these items in the little box so I knew exactly what I was looking for.... only I didn't find it.

Yesterday morning I prayed that I would find these lost items, please God show me where they are. So this weekend I decided to take every box out of my office closet and go through them all box by box, item by item and find it, it had to be here. Only it wasn't. I just resigned myself that I would have to purchase these medals again. Ok, so on to the other chores that needed to be done. I have been sick for exactly 3 weeks and my house is just a horrible mess, where to start? Can you believe I decided to take my mattress off my bed, take the bedskirt off and hem it? It has been ripped for forever, but really why in the world did I feel that I needed to do that today when there are so many things to be done in plain sight of unexpected visitors? Do you know why? Because as I was looking through my sewing box for a pair of scissors I found the medals and patches in my sewing box. Can you believe it? My first thought was.... WOW! I know that God's hands are all over this. This is all God because I only have a very, very vague memory of even putting them in there, why would I think that I would remember they were there. And I have been in that sewing box a dozen times in recent months and never remember seeing them.

So I called on the Lord's name, I am giving Him great Thanks and I am sharing with the nations the POWER OF PRAYER.

I praise myself on being the "Queen finder of lost things in my home" but really I need to give that praise to our Father who always assists me when I am in need of finding my lost item.

And just because I am so incredibly thankful and in great Awe of our Father in Heaven this wonderful Sunday November 23rd. I have to share some wonderful news! I have a very small family. It is me and my brother. My mom has 1 sister and she has 2 daughters. It is just us. My 2 cousins are the sweetest, most God-loving people, people-loving people I have ever met. These 2 sisters have had difficulty getting pregnant. Jennifir had her baby boy almost 3 years ago after 7 +/- years of trying and during that time her sister Jina had the same difficulties. My beautiful sweet cousin Jina, after also 7 +/- years had her baby girl on Saturday night November 22nd at 11:29 pm. This little girl was born to the most amazing mother and father, she will never want for Love, she is here for all of us, we all wanted her for Jina and Mike and now they have her. A beautiful healthy little Lyla Grace. Daquiri, if you read this, your bracelet arrived the day before she went into labor. YIPPEE. Anyway, I am in awe of God and his works and his plans and while all of these years we have all wondered why won't you give Jina and Mike a baby, what is your plan for them? Right now it really doesn't matter because His plan was for them to have Lyla and now that she is here that is so clear.

I just want a nap!

2008-11-21T12:55:00.000-08:00

Well, taking a nap didn't work out so well. :pout I layed down, had no trouble falling asleep and 10 min later the doorbell rang... mr. postman delivering a football photo button on the boys. I went straight back to bed and 20 minutes later my mom called. I talked to her for 5 minutes about getting Courtney a dollhouse for Christmas and fell right back to sleep. The phone rang 5 minutes later. My MIL was offering ot bring me some Wendy's chilie. :yum: OK. So, I got up, started straightening things up a bit and John called checking on me and was on the phone with him for about 2 minutes and the doorbell rang again. My friend Linda came over to drop off money for boy scout popcorn that she bought and see's candy fundraiser money which we will be putting towards Josh's sacramento field trip. She didn't stay. And then my MIL got here about 5 minutes after that with my chili. Seriously, grand central station and all I want is a nap for a sick momma who was up all night long coughing so hard her ribs hurt.

I did call and ask the doc to call me in a Rx for cough syrup with codeine.

So, no nap for me today, or not much of one. I need to get the kids in an hour and then there will really be no hope for a nap.

Forgiveness

2008-11-19T21:59:00.000-08:00

We once again had to miss church due to a football game. This time though, we took a bible and a devotion book and did a devotion on the way to Josh's game. Luke read the scripture, Josh read the devotion. The devotion that was randomly chosen was on forgiveness. What a timely topic for our family right now. With all the busyness of the football season, we have all been edgy, all 5 of us. Doesn't make for a happy home. I reminded everyone that as Jesus hung on the cross with nails driven into his body he said "forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do." I think we all sat there with our jaws on the ground, in silence, wondering how Jesus could ask for forgiveness for those men in teh midst of such agony. And then we could only say Wow! Then we spent a little time talking with the kids about times where they did not think they could forgive someone for what they had done and how the devotion suggested kindness is the cure for hatred.

That afternoon, out of the blue, Luke asked Josh and Courtney if they wanted to play a game with him. They always ask and he always says no. They have left the game board up now for 4 days waiting for the next free moment where they can play together.

God is so good to give us what we need from scripture.

Christmas from the kids

2008-11-13T13:34:00.000-08:00

This idea has been working in my heart for about the last 3 years or so, but Josh and Courtney seemed too small to really participate, maybe I let the busyness of the holidays quash it for me, but no matter, this year we are doing it.

First I told the kids my idea. I want each of them to buy a gift for one of their siblings for Christmas and it won't be something that I pay for and it won't be something that I buy and say here pick out which of these you want to give. They liked the idea. So we drew names about a month ago. They decided that they didn't want to keep it a secret from each other, the sibling that they chose that is. So Luke is buying for Josh, Josh is buying for Courtney and Courntey is buying for Luke. Hmmmm I just realized that is oldest to youngest, right down the line and then back up again.

Anyway, then the thought was, how are you going to pay for your siblings gift? Luke and Josh said they already have money and Courtney was feeling pretty sad that she only had $7 save up and Luke was feeling pretty bad about that too. LOL They all started talking about what they wanted, giving eachother ideas and Courtney told Josh she wanted $20 so she could buy Luke a gift. LOL I told her I would help her pay for Luke's gift. But then my beautiful sweet little girl said to me, Mom I want to save recyclables to pay for Luke's gift. I couldn't believe my ears, what a sweet thing to come up with. So we have all been saving water bottles, cans, newspapers and at the end of the month we are going to take her recycleables down and she will collect her cash to pay for Luke's gift.

They have talked about this regularly, still sharing ideas, talking about when we would go shopping, wrapping the gifts, etc. And they all agree that this was the best idea I have ever come up with and why haven't we done this sooner?

I love my children, they are wonderful God-loving little people and I couldn't be more proud to have them to call mine.

Great is thy faithfulness

2008-11-11T23:25:00.000-08:00

I just finished this wonderful book. I know it was a book, Karen Kingsbury has a way of bringing her stories to life. I just finished When Joy Came to Stay. If you have yet to read it, I will try not to spoil anything for you.

The story was about a little girl, 7 years old, raised in the foster care system. At one point in the story she was kidnapped and she kept telling her kidnapper that she was praying for him, she remember someone telling her that it is hard for people to be mean when you tell them you are praying for them, she was humming Jesus Loves Me and she told her captor that Jesus loved him.

What a wise little girl to have this understanding about faith in God's love for her, that whatever God's plan for her, she was not afraid. Again, I know this was just a story, but it stirred things in me. These are things in my life that I am just learning and believing and trying to live. These feelings bring peace and take away fear. Now it is just a matter of remembering this when you are in the middle of chaos and tension and stress. But it is getting easier and easier for me.

So if you like to read I strongly recommend you look in to Karen Kingsbury's extensive book list. I think I am almost caught up on everything she has written, I think I have 4-6 books left that must be older because I can't find them in the stores. Karen's books have helped my walk with building a relationship with God. When Joy Came to Stay would be an excellent place for you to start.

I'm Ready ...

2008-11-04T11:22:00.000-08:00

For whatever God has planned for us after today. I do have this peace about our election day today. Luke and I talked about some propositions today, the first being YES on 8 to restore traditional marriage in California and the other being Yes on 4 requiring parental notification 48 hours prior to a minor having an abortion.

First Communion and 17 years

2008-11-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

Josh had his first communion yesterday. What a special moment. He had his last class about 2 weeks ago and the pastor gave them a taste of the wine and wafer that is served at communion. He told me he didn't like the wine and I told him that when he is taking it for communion it doesn't taste bad and that nothing bad comes from God. Well, that didn't go over so well. There we sit, actually kneeling at the communion rail, between John and I and he takes a sip of the wine and stops and I whisper "finish it Josh" and so he takes a tiny sip and I tell him "Josh 1 big gulp and you'll be done" and he so he does and he gets this bitter look on his face. It made me giggle.

We had John's family over for lunch afterwards, they came about 11:15 and didn't leave until almost 4. I was so disappointed. It was our first Sunday off from football in 2 months and everyone just stayed. John was starting to get over a cold or something and I had gotten a sore throat that morning so neither of us were feeling good and everyone just stayed. It was our 17th anniversary and we didn't get to do anything. This was only the third time in 17 years that we didn't go away for our anniversary and we felt the let down. Oh well, I guess that is life.

So I wrote down on the attendance card, where it says those who communed today.... John, Marlayna, Luke and Josh. Wow!

My favorite verse

2008-10-28T23:03:00.000-07:00

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

This is my absolute favorite verse. I picked it up after about 2 years of reading Karen Kingsbury books pretty much exclusively. This seems to be a constant throughout all of her wonderful books, or maybe it is just the Baxter series.

Over the last couple of years, when I remember this verse it brings me an incredible amount of peace. I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you. When life feels overwhelming or scary I remember this and it helps me to relax. It helps me to test my faith in God. Not to say I never get stressed or worry, but this can pull me back to the reality of a life with God in it.

How about you? Do you have a favorite verse?

Anger

2008-10-27T23:37:00.000-07:00

1 Timothy 2:8 I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;

Too bad there aren't more people out there that live by this verse. We see it in football on my oldest son's team all the time. They are 10-13 year olds and it is pretty competative, but I tell you what the real competition is in the stands between the parents. My poor husband was so embarrassed by the mother's on our team that he went and sat with the other team at the last game (I couldn't be there).

My younger son's team has been fairly free of this behavior, but tonight a meeting was called and the coaches were not invited. But they found out about it and went to the meeting. I felt so bad for them, they were being acused of embezzaling funds from fundraisers. I really cannot believe this. This has been a wonderful team, coaching has been great for the most part (a little too much swearing for my liking with 7-9 year olds). John went to this meeting tonight, I was home with my sick baby girl. Anyway, he said there was so much yelling and screaming and horrible accusations amongst the league volunteers and the coaches. It makes me so sad to think that our season was tarished with this kind of anger.

If men (and women) would just pray about all things life would be so much happier. I am so proud that John and I do not live in that kind of drama. Not that we don't have our own quarrels that we need to learn how to deal with anger amongst ourselves, but that we do not embarrass ourselves with the words and actions like the ones displayed tonight, in front of children nonetheless.

We do feel that part of this comes with the area we live, in Southern California, my son says we live in the Ghetto. Usually I think he's over-reacting, but after these examples of un Godly behavior I have to agree with him. He is my spiritually mature child, maybe he sees something I don't see or don't want to see.

Favorite Five 10/24

2008-10-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

I am so glad I found this on Sandra's http://familycorner.blogspot.com/ site. I like to look back on my week and think about the good things, it helps me to stay positive. Thanks to Susanne http://www.susannesspace.blogspot.com/
for doing this.

1. Topping my list is that I found out the boys football schedule for November and Josh can take his first communion with his class.

2. Josh writing a letter to a soldier this morning. His school is delivering letters to soldiers in Iraq and school supplies to kids. We sent in 2 sets of scissors, pencil sharpeners and rulers.

3. Cooling weather, at least at night. Still in the 90s during the day, but having the windows open at night means no air conditioning during the day.

4. Planning and organizing our church harvest/halloween party.

5. Finishing 2 school projects for kids this week. WHEW!

He's amazing... I did something right.

2008-10-22T11:55:00.001-07:00

On the way to school this morning Luke said his teacher asked a "question of the day" yesterday and he wanted to see what my response would be.

Q: If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

Me: Hmmmm, homelessness.

Luke: That everyone would be strong Christians, because then that would solve most of the worlds problems.

:::my jaw is hanging on the ground:::

Me: Oh wow that is a much better answer.

Luke: I asked Dylan (a christian friend at school) what he put and he said that all cars would be hybrid. Then Dylan asked what I put and I told him and his response was... that is a much better answer!!!

I am so thankful he has a good christian friend at school.

My heart swells when he says stuff like that. He folds his hands and bows his head before every meal, I think even at school b/c he does it in public at restaraunts all the time. I just can't believe he is so spiritually mature. I need to keep nurturing that so it never changes!

More proof God is on our side

2008-10-21T22:46:00.001-07:00

You may have been following our distress about football and missing church and Josh having to miss his first communion on 11/2. I found out about 2 nights ago that Luke's playoff games were changed to 11/1, so it was kind of feeling like maybe it just might work out for communion on 11/2 for Josh... some how some way, but if it didn't I was okay. I was just being still and waiting, mainly because I had accepted that his first communion would have to be postponed. Today I got a call from Josh's coach with the schedule for the remainder of the season... NO TOURNAMENT on 11/2, it was postponed to 11/16. Did you hear me? NO TOURNAMENT on 11/2. The day is completely open and free of football, except for pro football on TV. We can celebrate his communion at church with our church family and have a party afterwards and celebrate this special day for Josh. It is just so wonderful to me that 2 weeks ago I was in tears, complete distress over the thought of the Josh missing his first communion and now about 2 weeks later there are absolutely no conflicts. God does know my heart, He knows my pain and my struggles and He doesn't want that for me or for Josh. Interestingly it felt like he gave us peace over our choices and that it was all okay with his help and then this. I love being a faithful follower of God, I love that I am learning and remembering to lean on Him more.

It will feel so bittersweet to end this football season, so many trials this year, so much joy watching Luke and Josh play. We will soon be able to look at it from a distance and try to listen to God about what his plans for us are for next season. I know to everyone else it seems like such an easy decision, choose church over pop warner .... the decision just isn't that easy, so much to weigh out. We listen to ourselves and our unhappiness over missing so much church and then we feel this pull like we just cannot give up Pop Warner to go back to JAAF (junior all american football), we just cannot imagine it. That feeling has to be coming from somewhere, now to figure out where.

Simple Woman's Daybook 10/20/2008

2008-10-20T09:36:00.000-07:00

Flor Today...

Outside my Window...A beautiful clear day! It is only going to be 82*! YIPPEE

I am thinking...I wish I could get a new clothes dryer.

From the learning rooms... Courtney needing to study harder on spelling and start her report on Monkey's today. And Josh needs to finish his California state project. We are running out of time.

I am thankful for... God working out our football/church issues. It seems like things are moving in the direction that maybe Josh will get to take his first communion with his class afterall.

From the kitchen... a big mess after a big weekend. Gotta go clean it.

I am wearing...denim capris and a purple shirt. No shoes. :)

I am reading... When Joy Came to Stay by Karen Kingsbury.

I am hoping... to get through this busy school project week and get everything turned in on time.

I am creating... a thought to make a table runner for my kitchen table. I am sick of the kids throwing the placemats all over the place and so my table always looks messy.

I am hearing... absolutely nothing! No dogs, cars, squeaky dryer... nothing.

Around the house... I want to clean my laundry room this week. I hate when it is a mess.

One of my favorite things... watching my boys play football.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...Today I have an appointment with my 7th graders school counselor. A check in kinda thing. Harvest Festival at the school on Friday and Halloween party at church this weekend. So I need to make goodie bags and get to the store to buy 50-60 apples for bobbing for apples. I might even need to make a bunch of cakes for a cake walk.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

It is probably too big for the column but it is an amazing picture of my oldest son's football team praying before the game. It gives me chills whenever I look at it. With their heads bowed and their arms on each others shoulders. God is Good! Luke is right on the other side of 52, top left of the picture, you can see his profile and his eyes are closed. What a good kid.

My little girls devotion book.

2008-10-19T21:17:00.000-07:00

I give each of my kids a new devotion book for Easter, almost every year. Courtney and I were reading hers today and it is just so amazing much you can learn from a child's book. Here is the devotion for today - October 19.

Well Done!
Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. Galatians 6:4

When you're young, it seems like everyone can do things better than you can. Your older friends can ride bikes, but you still need training wheels. Your older brother can write his name, but you still need help. Even though you can't do everything older kids can do, try to do your very best at the things you can do. And before you know it, you'll be big enough to do all those other things too!

I can't do everything, that much is true, But I'll do my best at the things I can do.

I find the Bible so amazing. The words in the Bible go with the times. How many years ago were these words put down and they still work for us today? God is so all-knowing. I also think it is amazing that this verse, or almost any verse, I imagine, could be read by an adult from the Bible and sound like they were written for an adult and then that same verse could be read in a child's devotion book and can be understood by a 6 year old. God is so amazing, always there for each and everyone one of us, ready and waiting to share all his goodness with us... it is all just waiting there for the taking.

Thank you God.

On of the many important things that I want my children to learn to do just do their best, don't compare themselves to someone else, just do your best and do it in the Glory of God. I am so thankful for devotional books that I can use as tools to help me teach these things to my kids.

This devotion was from Little Blessings, "Blessings Every Day: 365 simple devotions for the very young".

We miss church.

2008-10-16T22:40:00.000-07:00

Football has taken a huge toll on us this year. We signed the boys up for football last spring knowing that games were on Sunday. At that time our church was offering Wed night services and honestly I realy felt like God put the love of football in our hearts and He would make it all work out for us. I really believed it would work out so that we could attend church most Sundays. Well it turns out we have missed all but maybe 2 Sundays in the last 6 weeks and will have to miss the next 3 for sure. You can see it in our behavior towards eachother. The devil is definitely working us through busyness and it does not feel good, not one bit. The problem is this league is so much better than the leaque we played for last year... so much better and $500 per kid is a lot to spend on an activity when it isn't a good experience. So the last straw was last week when Josh's coach called about something and mentioned to me that our playoff tournament would be on Nov. 2. My heart sunk to my toes. Their last seasonal game is the week before that and I thought maybe we would get a week off before playoffs start. I have been very faith filled that God will make this work out. So back to the reason why my heart dropped to my toes... November 2nd is Josh's first communion. During this football season we have gotten up to leave for Luke's games by 7ish to finish with Josh's games by 3:30ish, to rush home shower up and get Josh to first communion classes at 5 and Luke to confirmation at 6.... without one, not one, complaint from them about not wanting to go because they were tired from football.

So I ask God, how are we supposed to choose between playoffs and first communion? How? Subsequently we found out that Luke's playoff tournament is the same day so now we pretty much have no chance of the first game starting after 11 so we could do both. Plus even if we did that, the focus on this wonderful, monumental occasion will be squished out by playoff games.

I ended up talking to our pastor and we are going to put his first communion off until after the holidays and then we can give him the celebration he deserves for this special occasion.

Then our pastor asks me if the church started a Saturday night service would we attend. Oh my goodness.... is this possibly an answered prayer? Remember to the beginning where I was very faithful in believing God would make this season work out for us? When I found out about Nov 2nd, it was like a big neon sign saying God's plans are not always your plans. Maybe God doesn't want us with this league afterall and this season was that answer. So we decided next year we would just ... suck it up and play for the other league again and just make the best of it... until pastor asked about Saturday nights. It is all still in the planning, but I am back to being faith-filled that God's plans will be made known and I am going to try harder to wait and not worry.

Still pretty bummed about Josh's first communion, but that is the way it goes. So it looks like we will be spending our 17th anniversary in Fontana watching our two wonderful boys play football all day long. How much better can it get?

Simple Woman's Daybook 10/13/2008

2008-10-13T21:22:00.000-07:00

For Today...

Outside my Window... It is dark now but today was a windy day with the smell of smoke in the air. I guess it is time for fire season. Watch out Southern California.

I am thinking... that I hope I am not getting the stomach flu.

From the learning rooms... algebra for a 4th grader. Whew, thank goodness I loved algebra.

I am thankful for... A great time in Las Vegas this weekend. It was really cold 55-65 the whole time. Remeber we are still in summer temps here in the SW and 55-65 does feel really cold.

From the kitchen... The smell of air popped popcorn.

I am wearing... A nightshirt with moons and stars all over it.

I am reading... I am between books, I finished Sunset by Karen Kingsbury this weekend.

I am hoping... to get caught up on work over the next 2 days.

I am creating... My Christmas list for the kids.

I am hearing... The sound of my husband and son laughing at a show on TV.

Around the house... Suitcases and duffle bags, pillows and blankets brought in from the suburban after our road trip to Las Vegas.

One of my favorite things... POPCORN.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week... Hmmm a fundraiser for the preschool at our church tomorrow night... At Shakey's Pizza, nothing until Friday night and Saturday which is football practice and Saturday is also the Harvest Bizarre at church. Football games on Sunday.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

A couple of pictures from our trip to Vegas. My ILs were celebrating their 40th anniversary and the whole family went. They renewed their vows at the Graceland Chapel and Elvis officiated. We all dressed appropriate to the 60s, in poodle skirts and all.

"http://thesimplewoman.blogspot.com/"> Please take a peek at her blog and read some of the daybooks on her list.

Scary

2008-10-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

Why is whenever I think about the presidential election I get scared? I do, so I try not to think about it too much. When Clinton was in office I don't really remember ever being scared about that state of our country, but the thought of Obama puts me in a tailspin. And it isn't about my team winning or losing... I fear about his morals and patriotism... or I should lack thereof, his lack of knowledge of foreign affairs and of course the thought of taxes going up. EEEK Ok I think I will stop thinking about it.

Simple Woman's Daybook 10/6/2008

2008-10-06T10:48:00.001-07:00

For Today...

Outside my Window...is another beautiful clear day and grass that needs to be mowed. We are slowly moving in to fall, Saturday is was cloudy and cold, 65* I think, tomorrow it is supposed to be 95* again.

I am thinking... that I need to pay a couple of bills today.

From the learning rooms... Josh brought home the outline for a school project. It is a salt map project of the state of California. We really need to not wait until the last minute to get started on it.

I am thankful for... a verse I read this morning... John 14:4 "You know the way to the place I am going."

From the kitchen... blueberry muffins and Einstein begals.

I am wearing... Blue jeans and a blue t-shirt

I am reading... Sunset by Karen Kingsbury

I am hoping... that I can start getting excited about a trip we are
taking this weekend. I am dreading it.

I am creating... a list of things to do before our trip.

I am hearing... birds chirping through an open window in my office and an occasional car driving by.

Around the house... is football helmets, shoulder pads and cleats. How will I ever get these boys to learn to pick them up.

One of my favorite things... is being home alone in a clean house.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week... Pick up our new stove/oven at Sears, get ready for a trip to Las Vegas this weekend with my husbands family. Hoping my husband lets the boys skip practice on Wednesday and Friday since we won't be here for the game this weekend. School board meeting Tuesday night. Hopefully nothing else.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

Thanks Simple Woman for providing this weekend daybook. http://thesimplewoman.blogspot.com/

Bible verse help

2008-10-01T12:30:00.001-07:00

I think this is probably a good place to come for help. My 9 y/o son, Josh, is working on his religious knot for cub scouts. For one of his assignments he needs to write down his favorite verse. I have been looking for some for him to choose from, but am coming up short.

I was wondering if you could help me with some ideas. I want it to be something he understands, child-like. I appreciate any help you can give.

Simple Woman's Daybook 09/29/2008

2008-09-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

Outside my Window...my dogs are laying in the dirt in the shade, trying to stay cool.

I am thinking...I have got to find a way to get more sleep.

From the learning rooms...Josh has a California state project due in a few weeks and we had better get started on it early.

I am thankful for...my cousin Jina's pregnancy after 7-8 years of trying, I am thankful I could make it to her shower and spend the weekend with my parents.

From the kitchen...a running dishwasher and bare cupboards, I really need to go to the store.

I am wearing...gray capris and a pink shirt.

I am reading...Sunset by Karen Kingsbury.

I am hoping...our trip to Vegas gets cancelled next weekend.

I am creating...a list of things that need to get done this week.

I am hearing...the hum of my ceiling fan and nothing more.

Around the house...football cleats and gear all over.

One of my favorite things...cross stitching but I haven't had time to do it in at least 2 months.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...Same as always, gymnastics, football practice, brownies meeting, but I neeed to add for this week... Josh has a religious knot class on Friday afternoon (for cub scouts) and has homework for that. I think my dad is going to come visit this weekend, wish my mom could come too. So that means we gotta find time to really clean too.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

My last baby lost her first upper tooth. It makes me so sad. When I told her that she said, mommy I will always be your baby.

Please visit the simple woman's blog and see everyone who joins in this daybook.
The simple woman's blog

Things You'll Soon Discover With Your New Baby Girl!

2008-09-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

I found this card tonight for my cousin.... Jina if you happen to read this before Saturday, don't go any further.

Anyway, I found the most perfect card for her baby shower. A little history on Jina... She is my very sweet cousin who has been married for 10 years and has spent I think about 7-8 years trying to get pregnant. She finally has a baby growing in her tummy and she informs me that I will see her belly before I see her. How cute is that? She and her husband Mike are going to make the most amazing parents.

The card reads...

Things you'll soon discover with your new baby girl...

That raising your own princess
beats any fairy tale.

That a lot of great big people
can be wrapped around
one tiny finger.

That a toothless smile can light up the world
like instant sunshine.

That watching her sleep
is (sometimes) more satisfying
than finding sleep yourself.

And most of all...
that there's no greater joy than having a little girl
to love.

Doesn't that card just bring tears to your eyes? It did for me.

I can't wait to go to see my parents tomorrow, just me and my mom and dad tomorrow night and all day Friday. Friday morning breakfast with my parents and brother. Mental note to get a picture of the four of us. Then Friday night I will see my cousin Jina and her hubby Mike, her sister Jennifir is coming in from TN whom I cannot wait to see either and my aunt and uncle from TX. A great family reunion. Saturday is Jina's shower and then Saturday night I am back home to my family. I am going to miss them so much and all week they have been telling me how much they will miss me but how happy they are that I get to see my parents. Don't you think it is amazing that my children (6, 9 and 12 y/o) have the mind set to think about that aspect? God thank you for my amazing family.

Things that make me happy...

2008-09-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

My friend Lisa made a list of silly things that make her happy and asked if anyone would like to share... so here goes.

* Any book written by Karen Kingsbury
* Pink bubble gum ice cream
* Camping
* Mexican food
* Football
* Crashing waves at the beach
* Cross stitch
* Music
* Christmas morning
* The quiet moments in my house
* A message from God when I least expect it and need it most
* My dogs first thing in the morning
* Riding quads with my family
* A tidy house
* My kids giggling

The Simple Woman's Daybook

2008-09-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

For Today .... September 22nd

Outside my Window... Is a gorgeous day... and I mean gorgeous. I am pretty picky about what is considered gorgeous, but is a clear beautiful 78* day.

From the kitchen... The ants are gone and the kitchen is fairly clean.

From the learning rooms... A 100% on a spelling test for my 1st grader and 4th grader. I am so incredibly proud of both of them. And my 4th grader got student of the month.

I am thankful for... tears. I went to a funeral this morning, I did not know the man, but his daughter's family attends our church. Tears always make me feel better, even when they sometimes are caused by painful memories of my sisters death or thoughts of when it will be one of my parents who I am burrying.

I am wearing... gray sweat capri's and a light blue t-shirt. If felt so good to get out of my black skirt and pink sweater after the funeral.

I am reading... A Thousand Tomorrow's by Karen Kingsbury.

I am hearing... The sound of country music on my radio as I work.

Around the house... is proof of a lived in home with 3 busy children and 2 busy parents. But hey, I do the best I can.

One of my favorite things... is going to my boys football games. I love to watch them play and cheer for them. Even when I have a ball in my gut when the game is a close one.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week... Gymnastics for Courtney this evening, football practice for the boys, tomorrow is boy scouts for Luke, take my ring in to get the stone fixed AGAIN and Thursday I leave for Arizona to spend a couple of days with my parents without the kids.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

Since my thoughts are with my sister so much, I found these pictures of the two of us when we were about 3 and 4 or maybe 2 and 3. She is on the left in both pictures. She died 20 years ago when she was 16 years old. I have been calling my daughter Courtney, Karon, on accident recently. I don't even feel like she has been on my mind recently. And even my daughter called my sister in law Aunt Karon last night and she is Aunt Kimberly. How could that happen? I can kind of understand how I could call my daughter Karon, but Courtney messing it up????

Thanks Peggy for helping me to remember the simple things... http://thesimplewoman.blogspot.com/

Simple Woman's Daybook 09/16/2008

2008-09-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

http://thesimplewoman.blogspot.com/

For Today...

Outside my Window... It is bright and sunny and very hot!

From the learning rooms... The kids will probably have a "hot day", kinda like snow days, but when it is over 100 they don't go out for recess.

From the kitchen... Roaming ants all over the counter. I don't know what else to do, I spray and spray where they are coming in and they make it through after it dries.

I am reading... A thousand tomorrows by Karen Kingsbury.

I am hoping...to be productive at work this week.

I am hearing...country music.

Around the house... Lots of laundry. We cleaned out our camper and all the blankets, jackets, bedding came in to be washed and it is throwing me all off.

One of my favorite things...Hearing my children play together.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...A fairly easy week, football practice and football pictures for the boys, Brownies for Courtney... but none of that until Friday.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

My first real sewing project. I cross stitched a camping sampler and made it in to a pillow for my husband. This isn't the finished project, of course, but I was so excited to have gotten this far with very little sewing machine experience and no pattern for the pillow part. :)

Where was God on 9/11/2001?

2008-09-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

I found this somewhere else on the internet, written a year ago...

Not long after the horrific events that occurred six years ago today, I heard several people ask, "Where was God on 9/11?" The best answer to that question came from a young woman who lived in New York City. I don't remember what the woman looked like, her age or what she wore. But what I do remember is what she said. She said that God was right there on 9/11. He was climbing 80 flights of stairs rescuing people from the towers; he was digging through the burning rubble trying to find survivors. He was comforting those that staggered through the smoke and dust looking for friends and co-workers. As this woman pointed out, God didn't desert this country on 9/11. The spirit of God was working in and through so many people. It was love in action on a scale that this country had not seen in many years. All I can say is, "Amen, sister."

My children's school had an assembly this morning where the principal explained the events of 09/11/2001 and the theme was HEROS. Some of the classes sang songs or recited poems. He asked military, fire, law enforcement personnel to come up and light candles and we observed a moment of silence to the song Taps. It was so moving.

Where were you and what were you doing the morning of this terrible tragedy?

It was early here, in California, I had just gotten up. My oldest had just started Kindergarten about 3 weeks earlier and I remember I didn't even want him to go to school. I had just, a week earlier, found out I was pregnant with our last child. It seemed so strange today when the principal said "some of you were not even born yet."

I am sure we all remember like yesterday the pain we felt in our hearts for the people in NY, PA and at the Pentagon. God was with us, God is always with us. Evil did this, God didn't let it happen... He just gives us the strength get through it.

Death is never easy.

2008-09-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

There is a lady in our church who has been very ill and we have been expecting her to go meet our Heavenly Father for months now... well, yesterday was the day. She took her last breaths around 5 a.m. We do not know her or her husband very well, but John is their Lay Minister (elder) at church, he calls them and several other families every month to check in on them. He has made a couple of stops in to see her this summer and even one time, knowing that John has a beautiful voice, she asked him to sing What A Friend We Have In Jesus. He has never really lost anyone close to him. Of course his grandparents, but he was so young or not even born yet when they died, he has known people who have died, but he feels this sense of responsibility to them since they were on his call list. He had plans to go visit the family tonight. He hadn't acted like he wanted me to go so I didn't plan on it. As he was walking out the door he asked me to go with him. So we gave the kids explicit instructions on safety in the house and said we'd be back within 30 minutes, they live 2 minutes away from us. He asked me what he should say, he was so nervous. I lost my sister 20 years ago and deal daily with her death. I just told him to be himself, don't think about what he should say, search his heart for the words (in simple terms, don't be formal). We sat with him for about 20 minutes and John just sat there chiming in a little bit, but I asked about his children, about her last couple of days, about the few minutes before her death, the funeral and burial service and as we were walking out he said that Sunday would have been their 59th wedding anniversary... with John on one side and I on the other we hugged him and he just layed his head in towards our shoulders (kinda like a group hug) and he cried. He cried about how they came and took away all the medical equipment today. He looked so exhausted, I pray he gets some sleep these next couple of days. We got in the car and John said he was so glad I came along with him, that everything I did was perfect. That was a nice compliment coming from him in a situation that is so difficult. We were a little worried that since we are not real close to them that he would be polite to us for our sake and that we would feel like we were intruding, but it didn't feel that way at all.

When I was sitting and listening to him talk about his wife I couldn't help but think about what it was like as she was finally having the great honor of meeting Jesus. For my whole life I thought about death and what it does to the people who are left behind, not giving a lot of thought to the one who goes to Heaven. But in my studies and my prayers I have learned to not be afraid of death. Of course there is pain and you are never ready to say good-bye, even when it is so expected. But the joy of Heaven crosses my mind now. My prayers now are for this sweet little man who has been married to this woman for longer than I have been alive... by a long shot. I hope he finds peace in his memories with his wife and that his love for the Lord helps him through this week.

Simple Woman's Daybook 09/08/2008

2008-09-08T12:26:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the Original Simple Woman for doing this. Visit her blog at http://">http://thesimplewoman.blogspot.com/ for the rules and her thoughts.

For Today...

Outside my Window...It doesn't look hot (but it is), the leaves are rustling in a light breeze and there are streams of white clouds against a beautiful blue sky.

I am thinking...I wonder if I will get results faster if I do sit ups more than once a day.

From the learning rooms...spelling words galore.

I am thankful... that my middle son got his room almost completely clean, closet is mostly done and that he is such a good boy.

From the kitchen... cleanness for a change.

I am wearing...blue denim shorts and a yellow t-shirt and bare feet.

I am reading... The Power of a Praying Parent.

I am hoping... we find out my boys football game schedules for the rest of the season soon, I am a serious planner and can't seem to relax about this.

I am creating... a cross stitch picture of a black, chocolate and yellow lab.

I am hearing... the sound of country music.

Around the house... are ants, ants and more ants. I can't wait for the heat to go away.

One of my favorite things... a fun day at the beach with my family.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...gymnastics this afternoon with Courtney, football practice and games for the boys and a youth group fundraiser at Jose's Mexican restaraunt where I hope to run into all of our friends and have dinner together. Boy Scouts for Luke and hopefully a relaxing couple of days for Josh in the middle of the week. He's not adjusting well to all the school work in 4th grade.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

A picture of my family walking in front of me. I love that my husband is holding our little girl's hand and walking with his other arm draped over our oldest son's shoulder. In front of them is our middle son walking with a friend. To me the affection is completely obvious.

OK so I am doing it.

2008-09-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

Last night I couldn't sleep, I had a big day yesterday, it was hot and my mind was just all over the place, so I didn't go to bed until about 12:45 and I prayed... I went through all the steps of confession, thankfulness and then my requests. It felt good. This morning I woke up, got the kids up and then decided to take a few minutes and did a set of 10 sit ups on the weight bench, 10 leg lifts, 10 arm exercises and then I did it all again. I realized that I have about 45 minutes in the morning before I have to take Josh and COurtney to school - A good time to exercise and then I come home and have about 45 minutes before I have to take Luke to school - A good time to shower and then I have to work until 3:30. So I am going to try that out. Maybe this week or next I will add it 15 minutes or so on either the treadmill or bike too. More than that and I will have to find another time to exercise because I still have to help them do a few things to get ready. Anyway, I am off to a good start and I feel good about it.

Seek the Lord Sunday

2008-09-07T21:57:00.001-07:00

How has the Lord touched my heart lately? I am so ashamed of my place in life right now. I have been so busy with family and kids and work I have made no time for myself, exercise, let alone God. I know how important prayer is and how it changes my life, and yet I have made very little time for it recently. I had even gotten in the habit of prayer just as I got into bed at midnight after work, even if I was so tired and could only tell God this was going to have to be quick because I am about to fall asleep, I would utter as much as I could before falling off to sleep. Still made me feel so good to pray before I fell asleep. I used to pray every week with a friend, we would pray for our children, but we have not gotten back to doing that since school started again. I used to read all the time and am a chapter or two into the Power of a Praying Parent. I am so exhausted all the time, I am gaining a few pounds, the house isn't as clean as I like it, the laundry is behind, my work is not as good as it should be, I am not reading and I am not praying. So I guess my answer to how has the Lord touched my heart lately? is that He has touched my heart by realizing this. I keep Him close in my heart regularly, continually trying to be more Christ-like, but it doesn't feel good to try without His help. So, here are my thoughts, praying will resume tonight, exercising, even just a little bit will resume tomorrow, as well as healthier eating and working on my weight and focusing on work when I should be working. Hopefully the rest will fall in to place.

I thought God would work it out.

2008-09-07T18:35:00.000-07:00

I really believe there is a plan for us all and God knows what he is doing. We signed our boys up for Pop Warner football against our better judgment of playing games on Sundays. It is a much better league for us compared to the other league in town. We had such a horrible season last year. Anyway, we thought God will work it out for us. It isn't working out perfect... okay... doable... but not perfect. Next week we can make it to church but will have to race home right after church, get on football gear and leave within 15 minutes or so.... to travel 45-60 minutes away for game 1 and somehow get kid #2 to his game 20 minutes from there. It will all work out and we will get home in time for Luke to make it to confirmation Sunday evening. But today we had a youth kick off event at church and Josh's game was throughout the whole party. Thankfully his game was home and by half time they were up 19-0 so Luke Courtney and I left at half time to go to the party. I am on the planning committe for youth events so it was important. Next weekend is our first children's worship service. We decided to do a service totally geared towards kids once a month during the sunday school hour. Well I will have to miss next week. I am so disappointed because we have so many fun things planned. The kids are missing Sunday School most if not all weeks and Luke's is doing a series called Grapple that I think is going to be so wonderful. And I am nearly positive we will miss the church picnic this year, unless both boys are playing at home in the morning. The most important one though is Josh's first communion is on 11/2 and I am so afraid we will have to miss football to do this.... most definitely this is more important, but I just hope we don't have to make the choice. I think I will feel so much better when the whole schedule comes out, they only have the first few weeks figured out right now. I am just on pins and needles about this. Next year will be a hard decision for us.... a league we don't like that plays on Saturdays or a league we like that plays on Sundays. And it is so expensive, we really need to put aside about $500 per kid, and Courtney will cheer next year, so that makes $1500. Anyway, this is a good test for me. It has been frustrating. I need to work this week, on relying on God to work it out the way it is supposed to work out and to accepting whatever comes our way and finding peace with what God has given us.

So now we know...

2008-09-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

Who do you like as our new president and VP? McCain and Palin or Obama and Biden?

I wasn't too crazy about our republican choice for Pres, and when Palin was announced as his running mate I was pretty uncertain... but wow she has won me over. Her speech last night was amazing.

What direction are you leaning for voting on November 4th and why?

WOW - I am so impressed

2008-08-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin chosen as McCain's republican running mate.

She sounds perfect, I am almost more excited about her than McCain. She sounds like a great choice and I am so excited to learn more about her in the coming months.

My prayers are with the republican party for a respectful, moral race over the next 2months and with that hopefully good outcome. Our country is in dire need of a continuing Christian moral leader.

A prayer for my children...

2008-08-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

"Help my child to see that what makes a person truly attractive is Your Holy Spirit living in him/her and radiating outward. May he/she come to understand that true attractiveness begins in the heart of one who loves God."

This is a prayer from a calendar of mine and it really touched me. I want people to know my children believe in God because of the kind of people they are. What a wonderful prayer.

We had Back To School Night tonight and when I introduced myself to Josh's teacher she got such a delightful smile on her face. The opinion she has of my son after 1 week of school was written all over her face. What a great feeling.

I also got a chance to talk to Courtney's teacher, the opportunity to talk about Courtney specifically was presented and it amazed me how many stories she had to tell about Courtney after a week of school. She walked around the room and told me the stories like they were happening. How does a teacher of 20ish new students have the memory to repeat Courtney's words from what I believe is probably almost word for word because I can hear Courtney voice saying what her teacher was sharing with me.

God Blessed Josh and Courtney with 2 teachers that I think are going to be perfect for them. And I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to meet their teachers tonight and have my heart overflow with happiness. I needed that after such a hard first week back to school. Thank you God!

SCHOOL!

2008-08-20T21:52:00.000-07:00

School has hit in full force. Wowza! The boys still have football practice from 6-8 pm M-F so keep that in mind when I talk about homework.

Courtney's isn't too bad. She was given a project last Thursday, an all about me poster that is due this Friday. We finished it yesterday so she turned it in today. It was so adorable, I wish I had taken a photo of it. She needed to write 3 wishes: 1. I wish I was old enough to be in the Olympics. 2. I wish my grandma and grandpa lived in California. 3. I wish my room didn't get messy so easy. (Me too baby!) She had to draw a picture of something she doesn't like, she drew a picture of a spider. (Me too baby!) She drew a picture of herself as a singer in the spot where she was supposed to draw what she wants to be when she grows up. She is on her way, she has a beautiful voice already at 6 years old. She was given a normal homework load for a first grader on Monday. A packet of papers to be turned in on Friday.

Josh on the other hand is the one that is swamped. Last Thursday he was given a project to do that was due today. We didn't spend enough time on it on Saturday and we were gone from 7:30 am to 7:00 pm on Sunday. It was a collage of things in California. Then he was assigned another project on Friday that is due tomorrow. It is basically a Newspaper about him. Who his hero is, he chose his dad. He had to write articles about things in his life, etc. Plus he has had about 45 min-1 hour of regular daily homework. And today he brought home this awful word search. He spent about 30 minutes on it and found 2 words, I spent about 1 1/2 hours on it and found about 10 and John finished it after spending about 45 min on it. Crazy! Today, including the word search, had he done it on his own, he had 4 1/2 hours of homework... IN FOURTH GRADE. I remember when Luke was in fourth grade, I always and still do think it is the most academically intense grade so far.

I am so pleased with Luke's attitude, his classes, etc this year. Big turn around from last year. 6th grade was horrible. He spends 1 1/2 - 2 hours a day on homework.

Did you forget we have football 2 hours every night? We are all so exhausted and cranky. My house has not been fun this week. But we had a ray of light tonight when we heard that Friday there is no practice because we have scrimmage games (said gameS) on Saturday. Between the 2 boys we have to be at the park from 9:30 am to about 4 pm. It is supposed to be 95*.

Okay there is my complaining. I do remember through it all that God only gives us what He knows we can handle. We just have to have faith in Him... rely on Him. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

Gotta love a successful youth group day!

2008-08-18T22:00:00.000-07:00

Hi all. Been busy getting the kids situated back in school and I am just exhausted all the time. I guess getting used to getting up early again.

Our youth group went to Soak City (waterpark) yesterday. We had 48 total people, whole families went, not just the youth group. We were so excited about the turn out. It was 107 in Palm Springs and so the water felt great. Now we are on to planning our youth kick off with tables showing off all of our plans for the next year and a t-shirt designing contest. I am excited. Every year the youth groups gains a few more regular attenders. It feels like we are gonna have a good year. I am sure praying for it.

Tough love

2008-08-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

I made John fold a load of laundry tonight. Oh my goodness was he mad. But I had to get Courtney's clothes in the drier or she wouldn't have jean shorts for school tomorrow and well when a girl gets in her mind what she wants to wear... she better have it. :) And I had to get started working. Anyway, the clothes in the dryer were his shorts and t-shirts. He was so mad at me. But when he was done he was bragging that he did his first load of laundry since we were married. Not something I am too proud of. LOL But I thanked him profusely hoping that he would remember this feeling of pride.

Does 1 - 4 - 7 mean anything to you?

2008-08-13T22:12:00.000-07:00

To me it means I have a first grader, 4th grader and 7th grader. I have been looking ahead lately and thinking about 2 years down the line when I will have 1 in elementary, 1 in middle school and 1 in high school. EEK. Okay Marlayna, stay in the here and now.

I got a couple of pictures this morning that didn't turn out too great, but here they are to document the first day of school in 2008.

The house was quiet. I have been waiting for this for a week, but when it was here I felt kinda teary. That is done though and looking forward to tomorrow when I don't have to work until 11 am and have the morning to grocery shop and then come home and watch some Olympics. I think God gives us school to give us mom's a little break once in a while to recharge.

Camping

2008-08-11T00:02:00.000-07:00

We went camping this weekend. First time this summer and I can't believe it. We love it every time. The kids were awesome, I was proud them all weekend. They were not irritable with eachother. We played games, went on hikes, relaxed and enjoyed the beautiful mountains. We went with Josh's cub scout pack, only about 40 people went, but it was still nice to be with people we know and visit, etc. Bare with me and all the pictures.

Josh and his cub scout jacket and patches.

The boys playing Uno.

Several years ago the cubmaster asked John to do a religious ceremony on Sunday mornings on our camp outs. It is called "Scouts Own". Here is John and Luke doing the service.

And a picture of our group, or the ones who attended the service anyway.

We went on a walk with some of the others and I just loved walking behind this. I think it is such a loving picture of a dad holding his daughter's hand on one side and his arm draped over his son on this other side.

We walked to this gigantic pine tree that had needles shaved off it all the way up the center of the tree and the kids all climbed up. Well not Courtney, I let her climb a couple of branches, but the boys were up about 30 feet.... OI! They are towards the top, you can't really see them, they are wearing earthy tone colors... and don't worry the red shirt towards the bottom isn't Courtney.

And a close up.

I never thought I would be one to love the outdoors, but I love the relaxation, getting away from home, cooking outside, sitting by the campfire. We go again Labor Day weekend with 8 other families from church, to the mountains again. Our pastor is going along this time and we will have a church service and pot luck meal on Sunday. What a way to celebrate God and all His glory, surrounded by His goodness, with our church family.

Does my blog look different to you?

2008-08-07T00:20:00.000-07:00

I don't know if something is up with the system or if I fiddled around with my settings and messed it all up. But everyone's blog that I visit has a yellow box at the top, instead of all the pretty designs everyone uses. It is not easy to comment, the right side looks different.

But mine looks fine to me. It is exactly how I set it up. Does anyone know what happened?

How do you know you are married to a redneck?

2008-08-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

I know it because my husband pronounces it with lots of pride. I also know it because he came home from work today and did this...
He put plastic in the bed of his pick up and filled it up with water so the kids could have a pool. I find his childishness exhausting most of the time, but then I saw how excited the kids were, it was 100* today, or nearly anyway. The dogs even seemed to love it because the plastic didn't hold and I found them under the truck where the water was dripping out. I guess the whole thing made me giggle.

I do want my kids to grow up with manners and all that good stuff, I am a city girl, raised with the "good things in life" and he grew up on a farm in a town of 200 people. Now after almost 17 years of marriage I find myself longing for that lifestyle.... but not in the city. LOL I don't know, I am so back and forth about it really. I think we have figured out that this is where God wants us.

Oh, so back to ... wanting the kids to grow up with manners. No matter how hard I try it is a fighting battle because my husband is crude and rude, though a strong Christian... yep I scratch my head at that one too, he is more friends with my oldest than anything. He lets him watch TV shows that I think he is too young for, uses bad language around him, burps, farts, the whole thing. I have been so grumpy lately because I want my kids to have good manners and I can't compete with a fun dad. HELP. Any ideas? Not to be putting John down at all. He is a great dad, he does parent as well, the kids respect him completely and I have to give him kudos because he came up with some parenting ideas that I think they will respond to way better than my nagging.

This is one of those things that I continually pray about and find the right time and words to talk to John about. But really anything he doesn't want to change he won't even if he knows he should. I feel kind of defeated. I am in an up and down place right now. Happy, frustrated, tired....

Children's message

2008-08-03T10:13:00.001-07:00

Today at church our pastor was doing the children's message and there were about 10 kids and Courtney was the youngest. In his message he had 1 present and he said.... with all these kids and only one present, who should get it? My daughter shouted out... the youngest one. The pastor about busted a gut laughing so hard... as did the rest of the church. She pretty much has something to say that is so innocent it is funny at almost all the children's lessons.

Reason, Season, Lifetime... Friends

2008-08-02T23:32:00.000-07:00

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong -doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

I have a friend who has been my closest confidant, spiritually and in every day life things. She has taught me so much about prayer, which I believe to have made an enormous difference in my life, she has taught me to look for the blessings in everything in life, even when they don't seem like a blessing... that everything is from God. I love her for how she has helped to change my life. I found out last night that she is leaving our church. I feel bad that she didn't tell me, her husband told my husband... who are also friends. And she is very old fashioned and obedient to him, I think he probably asked her not to tell anyone until he was ready. But now I don't know how to talk to her. I am not mad at her. I am very sad she is leaving our church, but I can't imagine how those feelings would make me not want to be friends with her anymore, I have considered her my best friend for several years now. I don't know what to do with what I am feeling....I don't really know what I am feeling. Except that I have had 3 girls/women in my life that have gone. First my sister who died 20 years ago, a very dear friend of mine who was very special to me who moved to the other side of the country and now this friend.

So I thought of this poem, if that is what you call it. I pulled it out to wonder what God's plan was. Where did Linda fall for me in this poem. I wonder if it is possible for her to be the friend who is the reason, the season and the lifetime friend all rolled up in one. I know she is not gone, but I feel like she is. I just pray that I keep my heart open and realize how this works in God's grand plan... or if it will be one of those things that I won't get an answer for until I get to heaven.

Mean Girls...

2008-07-31T21:16:00.000-07:00

There is a topic that has been on my mind for about a month. I have 2 boys and a little girl who is going in to 1st grade and over the last year has started to experience how mean girls can be. I never really experienced it with boys. I have felt so bad for her and not really knowing how to deal with it. One night I got an email newsletter from a christian book store and the title of a book called "Mean" caught my attention. So I went and bought it. I am not really the type of person to lead a bible study, but this has been weighing on my mind so much. I have asked several people who I believe to be good leaders and would be good leading a bible study for teenage girls and no one has accepted.

I went with John to take the boys to football practice tonight and on a side note... praise the Lord for a gorgeous evening, so unlike So Cal for summer. Anyway, I read the first chapter of this bible study hoping I would hear or feel some answers from God as to whether I should lead this bible study. What a beautiful setting, out in the park on a cool breezy summer evening, reading a bible study. I have no clear answers as to whether I should lead this bible study yet, just a desire to do it. I have put this time table on myself that I want this bible study to start after Labor Day, with the start of a new season. But I realized yesterday that I should be on God's time table, not my own. So I am just waiting.... just as God asks us to do so often.

Kids Time!

2008-07-28T21:19:00.001-07:00

I am so excited and it is too late to call anyone... A couple of weeks ago our church's youth task force, which I am on, decided to do a youth church service between our two church services once a month. We have an 8:00 traditional service, 9:30 is Sunday School and then a 10:45 praise service. So once a month this service would take the place of Sunday School, which will probably be a huge relief to the teachers. Anyway, I started with the Sunday School superintendent to make sure she was okay with it and she was. WOOHOO Battle #1 won. My struggle right now is that I don't feel like I have the support of our senior pastor. He says he supports us, but he doesn't really help us to overcome the obsticles. And our youth leader, he isn't in support of this idea right now. He thinks it is too soon. But everything that I am feeling... reactions from parents in the church, the SS Super, and now.... tonight I talked to a man in our church who is great with music, has elementary age girls. Not only did he say he would handle the music but he sounds excited about it. He said "we should get kids who play instruments involved because if they are involved in big things like this they become more invested in church." OH MY GOODNESS! He wants to just take the music part of this church service and run with it. WOOHOO Find out what music the bigger kids like, he wasn't turned off when I told him this service would be for all the kids of the church, not just the big or little kids. Battle #2 won. Our next potential set back right now is that because we cannot use the sanctuary for this service we only have one other option, the fellowship hall... but there are 2 bible studies in there at the time we need it so we would have to ask them to relocate once a month. Pray for this for us. I am going to try to get it resolved tomorrow. If I can get this problem solved we are on for our first "KIDS TIME" youth church service on September 14. The next thing to do is to choose a skit and recruit some kids to perform it at that service. We plan to do music, offering, youth announcements, our normal youth opening (which usually happens once a month with the SS super celebrating b'days and awards, etc), prayer requests and then rotate each month between a kids sermon, skit, guest speaker (like Christian Clowns or a youth Christian comedian). I feel like God is telling me "Marlayna it is time for this, your church is ready for this, don't let the Devil tell you otherwise."

Sorry I rambled so much! I just am so excited that any of the hurdles I have faced so far have not been too high to jump. Praise the Lord!

Are you ready for some football!??!?!?!?!?!

2008-07-27T21:26:00.001-07:00

Well my boys are! It is really unbelieveable how intense Pop Warner football is. This is Luke's second year and Josh's first. Not sure they are really looking forward to conditioning, but they both seem excited to get their pads and have been practicing with John every night. August is going to hold practice M-F from 6-8 pm. It is a tough schedule...physically for the boys, but also because school starts on Aug 13, so they will have to be disciplined to get homework and chores done before practice. Particularly hard for Luke as he doesn't get home from school until almost 4. But after Labor Day regular season starts and they will practice 3 times a week.

Luke eats, sleeps and drinks football and hopes to play quarterback this year.

Josh has been practicing center and the coaches really seem to think he's an animal. Can't picture that about my gorgeous blue-eyed little boy. But it makes me proud.

And even Courtney is excited about football season and had to get in on the photo session.

I feel like God has put the love of football in the hearts of all 5 of us. He definitely knew what He was doing when he chose all of us to be a family here on earth. I am thankful that my boys have something they really love to do and work hard for. Now I pray for a safe season for them and that God helps us all manage our time, and our patience to get through the next 4 months.

It takes a Village...

2008-07-23T13:12:00.000-07:00

Ya know the old saying, it takes a village to raise a child! I think that is especially true in a church family. What I mean is the people at your church who are your church family.

Our church has gone through a huge hit. We lost a very popular pastor several years ago, got an interim that was highly loved, got our new pastor 2 years ago and .... well, he has struggled, though I really believe it is turning around. And not to say it is his fault. We have lost many, many families. In this time John and I have become much more active in church. My latest thing is being 1 of 4 members of a youth action team (YAT). It has been a hard road. There has been no youth group to speak of for... as long as I can remember. I think as a church family we are the village. It takes us all to love and care for the children of our congregation. We have hired an out of work pastor to work with us part time and we have had some discouraging times. Why won't the kids come? I think I know the answer, they aren't used to having things for kids at church... I keep saying we have to be consistent and persistent.... build it and they will come. Right? Oh I pray so, because I want this for my children and the others in our church family.

This weekend we are having a car wash fundraiser to pay for tickets for the youth to go to Soak City, a local water park. I just hope it isn't only my kids and the kids of the other 3 members of YAT.

God keeps pulling me in the direction of youth leadership. And so when I am frustrated He won't let me fall away. I still feel this pull towards planning events and bible studies and youth meetings. This to me is proof I am doing His work.

How are your youth groups? We recently decided we were fighting a losing battle with elementary youth group. The pastor's grandson, my kids and a few others were the only to come and all the kids went because the parents were committed to growth. But no new kids. Does your church have an elementary youth group? We decided to plan monthly activities with those kids and not regularly scheduled weekly youth meetings (get togethers). I would love to hear about the youth group at your church.

They are almost home.

2008-07-22T12:28:00.000-07:00

I feel like I haven't seen my kids in a month. Luke and Josh were in Arizona with my parents for a week and then Luke came home last Friday and Courtney went to their house and so she has been there for 4 days and Josh now has been gone for 11 days. Sunday Luke left and went to Boy Scout camp for a week. But Josh and Courtney are coming home tomorrow night and Luke is coming home Friday night. Hmmm sounds a lot like a juggling act, doesn't it? Just so you know, it feels like one too.

I know that God put me on this earth to be a mom, I love it and I love being a mom who is raising her kids centered around God. I love the mom that God helps me to be. I am not perfect and make mistakes, but I think for the most part I do right by them. I started praying with a friend of mine who follows a prayer group format called MITI (mom's intouch international) and it has changed everything for me. What a wonderful gift to exchange with our Father, conversation with him. I have learned the importance of thanking him for my blessings and then leaning on Him when I need to.

The other night, about a week ago, my mom told me she was taking the boys to this place in Sedona, AZ called Slide Rock. It is basically a state park where there is a creek that runs through the beautiful red rock where it is so smoothed over that it is used to slide down.

Here is a picture of Sedona

Aren't the red rocks spectacular? I am not sure this is exactly where sliding happens but I thought this picture showed how beautiful Sedona is and how smooth the rocks look.

Anyway, the night before they were to go I was so anxious about it. I thanked God for having parents who were so wonderful to my children and who love my children so much. And I prayed that the next day was not the day that I would lose one of the boys or my mom (my dad wasn't going). I am a big believer in God's plan and have faith that he would get me through whatever happens in my life. But also I am human and scared of losing one of my loved ones.

I did everything I could, the day they were going to Slide Rock, to not call and check on them. I knew I had to have faith in my God. I called that night and it turns out they got up there and the park was closed because the bacteria levels in the water were too high. I couldn't help but wonder if it was an answered prayer.

Kinda late, but I think that Mother's Day should be a day that we are thankful for being mother's, not for our children and husbands to thank us for what we do and who we are. Well, maybe it could go both ways. :)

Where is your Heaven on Earth?

2008-07-22T00:08:00.001-07:00

When I picture heaven I picture the beach made of clouds. I feel the most relaxed and peaceful when I am at the beach. My header picture is the beach I grew up visiting, even though it was an hour and a half drive away, we all piled (my mom and bro and sister) into my moms little sports car and went for a day at San Clemente beach. Now that is where I take my children.

My husband surprised me 1 week before the 4th of July by asking me if I wanted to go to the beach for the 4th of July. It took me all of 3 seconds to open up the internet and start searching for available hotel rooms for 4th of July at San Clemente beach. We live about 1 hour 15 minutes away, but knew we would never find parking and dealing with a long drive back didn't seem appealing. So we decided to make a weekend of it.

It was heaven for me. And I think for my family as well. We plan to go back next year. I am so excited. I thank God for San Clemente every time I think of it.

Where is your Heaven on earth?